


Tased

by MoonCat163



Category: Loki - Fandom, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Definite plot holes, Don’t copy to another site, F/M, loki is spoiled
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-01-14 17:12:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 40,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18480688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonCat163/pseuds/MoonCat163
Summary: Lyssa McAlister, SHIELD agent, has been assigned as Loki’s escort for the last six weeks, after other agents had been frightened or intimidated unto quitting.He chafes under the restrictions he’s under, making life difficult for his guard. Then he & Lyssa are kidnapped from Stark Tower.They agree on a truce, at least until he makes his escape.** This is an alternate version of “Breakfasts, Books and Brownies.”*** 9/2019 — I haven’t forgotten this one, just letting it set for a bit so that I can see it with fresh eyes 👀





	1. Chapter 1

Loki was in a particularly bad mood when his handler, Agent Lyssa McAlister came to escort him to yet another boring ‘committee’ meeting with those horrid Avengers and his brother.

He didn’t want to go, but also didn’t really want to be left locked in his quarters all day with no entertainment. He’d read every book he’d been given and although he found them dull they were enough to keep him slightly occupied.

When Lyssa opened the door to his living space, she knew immediately that he would be trouble today. He paced like a caged animal, and she could tell that he was tense.

“So, my Prince, what will it be today?” She asked quietly, watching him. “Will you come out and behave, or do you prefer to stay in again?”

She stood casually, arms crossed, as she watched him. He turned to her with a scowl. He didn’t let her stance fool him: he knew that she was well trained, and able to defend herself as needed. She didn’t have his strength, of course, but the two stun guns holstered low on either hip were enough of a deterrent to keep him from putting his hands on her. She probably had another weapon hidden somewhere on her person.

Loki looked her over, trying to make her uncomfortable. Her expression never changed as his green eyes lingered over her. She was tall and slim, with long dark hair that was pulled back into a simple ponytail. She had on tight fitting black jeans, and a dark green, long sleeved shirt and wore low-heeled boots. He reluctantly admitted to himself that she had a fine figure, even for a Midgardian.

“Why do you insist upon wearing green?” He snapped.

“You are not the only person allowed to wear it. I happen to like green, and have liked it since I was a child,” she replied, unperturbed by his temper. They’d had this conversation before.

He growled again and resumed his pacing.

“You may stay in, if you like. I’ll just lock the door and bring you some breakfast shortly. I’ll try to find more books…..”

She stepped back as if to leave and smiled to herself when he walked, or stalked rather, past her and waited until she’d closed the door to his suite.

“You know the way, and the drill,” she said, softly.

She stood behind him and saw his shoulders bunch as his hands curled into fists. He really was in a bad mood today. She followed him from a few paces behind as he took the familiar path toward the meeting room.

When they reached the large common area, he stopped and turned to her suddenly. Lyssa sighed in disappointment and her hands dropped to the grips of her weapons. Although she didn’t show it, she was slightly surprised when suddenly there were multiple Lokis in front of her, all identical.

“Oh. I’d forgotten that you could do that.”

She drew the weapons and pointed them both at the last spot where he’d been standing. Loki was appeased somewhat by the awe in her voice. His smile, and those of his doubles, was a bit predatory.

“So, Agent, which one is the real me?”

Lyssa’s eyes flicked over the eight figures standing in front of her as they spoke in unison. Loki watched her in amusement. He rarely saw her unsettled and although she hadn’t shown any fear, he knew that it was lurking there. He was determined to bring it out of her.

“Eeney, meany, miney, mo!” she said, moving her left hand and firing.

****

“That looks incredibly painful.”

Loki could hear Thor’s amused voice through the gray mist that clouded his vision.

“Doesn’t it?”

He heard Lyssa’s voice next, but she wasn’t amused at all. She sounded kind of sad. Loki fought his way back into consciousness and found himself staring at the ceiling of the common room. He was unable to move, though.

When his vision cleared, he found that Thor and Lyssa were standing shoulder to shoulder, looking down at him. Lyssa had reloaded her weapon with a fresh cartridge, and had both at the ready, even though Thor’s presence was more than enough protection.

Loki managed to rip the barbs of the spent cartridge from his abdomen with a groan. He forced himself into a sitting position.

“I wonder if one of those Sakaarian obedience disks would be more of a deterrent for him. I wish I’d brought one with me,” Thor said, thoughtfully.

“A what?” Lyssa asked, all the while watching Loki.

“Yeah, they work like a charm. Little metal disk embeds itself in your skin, and you can’t get it off. Then there’s a remote thingy with a push button. Push it, then zap, out like a light.”

“And you don’t have one here?”

“Unfortunately, no.”

“That’s too bad. Maybe Tony could come up with something similar.”

Loki looked up at them, murder in his eyes. He finally got up and stepped back from Lyssa and those painful weapons.

“So, my Prince, I ask again, what will it be today?” She asked. “In or out?”

“How did you know?” He asked, carefully fingering the puncture wounds made by the barbs. They weren’t deep or serious, just annoying.

“A girl shouldn’t reveal all her tricks at once, you know. And I have many, many more up my sleeve. I’d prefer not to use them at all, to be honest, but you task me.”

 _Clever girl_ , Loki thought to himself, somewhat impressed that she’d actually nailed him with that stun gun of hers.

Thor chuckled, as if reading his thoughts. Lyssa holstered her weapons when Loki turned without a word and walked on toward the meeting room. Thor and Lyssa glanced at each other, then followed him.

“He hit his head pretty hard on the floor, and he’s bleeding,” Lyssa told Thor. “Should I take him to the clinic first?”

“He’ll be fine,” Thor replied.

Loki shot them both a glare over his shoulder. Thor laughed but Lyssa still looked rather upset that she’d had to use her weapon. They reached the conference room, where the others were waiting.

“What took you so long?” Tony Stark asked.

“He fell down and hit his head,” Thor replied with a grin as he pushed Loki into a chair.

Lyssa grimaced as she walked over to the table where the snacks were put. She made two cups of coffee, added sweetener and creamer to each, then set one in front of Thor, then Loki. Thor winked at her in thanks, while Loki simply glared.

She then picked up a pastry box and grabbed a few napkins. She gave Thor a couple of the brownies that were inside, then set the box down in front of Loki, after taking one for herself.

“Trouble, Agent?” Steve Rogers asked, wishing that he’d gotten a brownie already.

“Nah, he hasn’t had breakfast yet is all,” Lyssa replied, chewing on her brownie.

She went to one of the cabinets and took out a first aid kit, then walked back to Loki, setting it down on the table beside his elbow.

“Agent, this is totally unnecessary,” Loki growled, fingers drumming on the tabletop.

“Be still and let her tend you,” Thor told him, warningly.

Lyssa took out a gauze pad, and carefully parted Loki’s hair where he’d hit his head. It was just a small cut and she dabbed at it lightly before using sterile water to clean it and the blood out of his hair. It still bled a little and the light pressure she put on it stopped the bleeding completely. When she’d finished, she smoothed his hair back down.

“There, good as new, my Prince.”

Thor had been watching his brother closely, and had seen his expression soften once Lyssa had touched him. The others in the room had also seen the change in him, although Lyssa appeared to be unaware. She closed the lid to the first aid kit.

“If you’re not going to eat those, there are others who’d like one,” she said, tapping the brownie box before moving away.

She went around the table, refilling coffee cups before taking a seat out of the way. Lyssa sat sideways in the chair, with one leg over the arm and the other stretched out. Loki watched her, unaware that Thor was watching him.

She sipped on her own coffee, half listening to the meeting while looking through her phone, idly swinging her foot. She was quite unaware when the conversation stopped, and that everyone’s attention was on her.

“Are you bored, Agent?” Tony asked, with a slight grin.

“Not at all, Boss,” she replied. “Just checking the Prince’s schedule. Gotta keep him on track.”

Loki scowled again as the room laughed.

“Besides, I wasn’t aware that I should be keeping the minutes,” she said, with a cheeky grin at him.

“You’re not. Carry on, then,” Tony pushed his glasses back up.

Lyssa smiled again, then winked at one of the men sitting close to Steve Rogers. Bucky Barnes smiled back at her. Loki stole a glance at the man who was Captain Rogers’ best friend. The one that had been called the Winter Soldier.

He knew something about the man but hadn’t bothered to learn more. He was just another super soldier like Rogers, except he had been used as an assassin and wasn’t as squeaky clean as Rogers.

As the attention moved back to the meeting, Lyssa quietly got up and refilled coffee again. Loki hadn’t taken a single brownie, so she took the box and divvied them out to the others, and took the last one for herself. The box went into the garbage and Loki regretted not eating them all, just for spite. Thor was amused again at something and Loki frowned at him.

When the meeting was over, Loki got up reluctantly. It was time to be returned to his quarters. Lyssa got up and tossed her coffee cup into the trash before getting Thor and Loki’s cups and doing the same.

“Your breakfast is waiting for you,” Lyssa told Loki as she took her place behind him.

“Fine,” he replied, still touchy.

“I’ll walk with you, Lyssa.”

Loki’s shoulders stiffened again at the sound of the Winter Soldier’s voice.

“Thank you, Sargeant,” Lyssa replied.

Loki led the way back to his suite, silently fuming. Lyssa watched his back the while time.

“He’s antsy today,” Bucky said, quietly.

“Yeah. I’m not sure what’s going on with him,” Lyssa replied.

“I can hear you!” Loki snarled over his shoulder.

“We weren’t exactly trying to be quiet, my Prince,” Lyssa replied.

“As with the green, why do you insist upon calling me that?”

Lyssa was stunned for just a moment and Bucky glanced over at her.

“I didn’t think that a small kindness would do any harm,” she replied. “But if it offends you so much, I will refrain from doing it again, Loki.”

“I don’t need any small favors from anyone, nor do I want them.”

“Very well.”

When they reached his room, Lyssa opened the door and motioned him inside.

“Sergeant, would you mind watching him for a moment?”

“Of course.”

Lyssa went to the dozen books that were stacked on a table and began to place them into the carton that was on the floor. When she had packed them all, she carried the box to the door, set it down and kicked it into the hallway with her foot.

Then she went to the kitchen bar where Loki’s breakfast had been left. Another pastry box was placed near it, and she picked it up before going back to Bucky’s side. Loki watched her with an inscrutable expression.

“I will no longer prepare your meals myself and will have groceries brought to you. You can cook or order from the kitchen and take your chances on what you get,” She told him, while opening the pastry box. “Nor will I loan you my own books. Would you like a brownie, Sergeant? This ungrateful wretch doesn’t deserve them.”

Bucky took a brownie as he and Lyssa both stepped backwards into the hall. The steel door slid shut and then shuddered at the impact when Loki’s fist slammed into it from the other side.

“Shit,” Lyssa breathed.

“Ass,” Bucky said, biting into his brownie. “These are really good.”

“Thanks. I made extra and have some left in my apartment. If you’d carry the books for me, you can have them. I was saving them for him.”

“Sure.”

Loki’s fist hit the door again and Lyssa realized that he’d heard them. Bucky picked up the books and silently motioned to her to lead the way. He followed her to her apartment and put the books down where she indicated. She brought out the brownies and set out two glasses.

“Milk?” She offered.

He nodded and sat down at the table. She poured the milk and sat down beside him. Lyssa brooded quietly while they ate.

“What are you thinking?” Bucky asked her, after pouring himself more milk and taking the last brownie when she’d pushed the plate toward him.

“Trouble’s brewing,” she replied. “I’ve never seen him like that. I had to stun him.”


	2. Chapter 2

Loki was left alone for the rest of that day. The only visitors were the two agents who’d brought groceries to him. He looked through the bags, and sighed. He’d went too far and had bitten the hand that fed him. 

Lyssa was absent for four days before he’d had enough and demanded her presence. He was told that she was under the weather but didn’t believe it. He was bored out of his mind and had barely eaten. 

Later that night, he picked up the tablet that had been given him and browsed through it until he found the directory. Surprisingly, Lyssa’s apartment was listed. Angrily, he tapped on her listing for a video chat and waited. 

It seemed like an eternity before she answered. She had been asleep and when her face appeared on the screen, Loki saw that her hair was a tousled mess, a glorious, tousled mess. 

“What is it??” She asked, blearily, pushing her hair back from her face. “ _It’s two o’clock in the effing morning!_ I swear, if the planet, city or Tower isn’t on fire, I’ll….”

“Where have you been?” Loki interrupted her. 

Lyssa rubbed her eyes and looked closer at the screen. “Loki?”

“I asked you a question,” he snapped. 

“Weren’t you told that I’ve been sick?”

“They told me, but I don’t believe it,” he bit out. “What’s wrong with you?”

“It’s really none of your business,” she retorted. “Wait, have you missed me?”

“I have not. I’m merely bored out of my skull. I’ve not been allowed out of here since the other day…”

Lyssa rubbed her eyes again and pressed her fingertips into her temples. Loki stopped his ranting long enough to look more closely at her. 

“What’s wrong with you?” He asked again, rather gently this time.

Lyssa blinked at him, clearly surprised by his tone. She looked at him suspiciously. 

“I told you that I’ve been sick,” she replied. “And I really don’t think you need to know any more than that.”

Loki’s jaw flexed angrily and she thought for a moment he’d ground his teeth so hard that he would soon start spitting them out. 

“I expect to see you tomorrow or I will become very difficult,” he finally said. 

“Oh, really?” She gave a sarcastic laugh. “And these last six weeks have been a walk in the park?”

“Yes.”

“You really are an ass, you know that?”

“And you’re not taking the proper tone with a prince.”

“Ooh, apologies, prince. Let me take the proper tone, then.”

The screen went blank suddenly and it took Loki a moment to realize what had happened. He tapped on the directory again but he was blocked from calling her apartment. In fact, he could only call the kitchen. 

With a growl, he tossed the thing aside. After a moment, he started to laugh. 

_Cheeky thing_ , he thought to himself. 

**** 

The next morning, rather late in his opinion, Loki’s door slid open and she came in, followed by someone who carried his breakfast. The other person set the tray down and left without a word. 

He looked at her, and frankly, she wasn’t at her best. She wore a dark red shirt, gray jeans and her usual boots. She still wore her hair in a ponytail and today she had on sunglasses. 

She looked like she had simply rolled out of bed, brushed through her hair with the bare minimum effort, and put on the first pieces of apparel that she could get her hands on. 

“Sunglasses, indoors?” He asked, almost mockingly. 

“Shut up and eat your breakfast,” she snapped. 

“What, no brownies?” He asked, determined to needle her a bit. 

Lyssa’s hands hovered over the grips of her weapons. He waited to see if she would actually draw them. 

“Please eat before it gets cold,” she finally said, tiredly. “You’ll not get anything else until lunch, unless you’ve groceries left.”

Something in her tone made him look more closely at her. She was extremely pale and….

“Are you in pain?” He asked suddenly. “You’re hungover while on duty, aren’t you?”

She actually winced as his voice got just a bit louder. “I am not hungover.”

Loki walked toward her, and she did grip one of her stun guns. He stopped when she pulled it halfway from the holster. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked again. 

“Would you _please_ just eat?” She asked, trying to reason with him. 

Please. That was the second time she’d said that. He stared at her until she finally grasped both weapons and slid them out of the holsters. 

“Loki, I _swear_ if you continue to push me, I will let you have both barrels, just for drill.”

He held his hands up in surrender and slowly walked to the table where his breakfast waited. He uncovered the dishes and began to eat, while occasionally glancing up at her. 

“There’s no meeting today,” she said, speaking softly. “Would you care to go the training room and work off some of that energy you’ve been storing up?”

“Are you going to be my training partner?” He asked, with a lift of an eyebrow. 

“Not today, but I’m sure the treadmill or punching bag will do nicely for now.”

Loki gave a slight shrug, returning his attention to his breakfast. He was still trying to figure out what was wrong with her. She occasionally pressed a finger tip to her temple, or forehead. 

“Tell me what’s wrong,” he said, quietly. 

Lyssa sighed. He just wasn’t going to let it go.

“If you must know, I have a migraine,” she replied. “It’s been five days now and I can’t shake it.”

“What’s that?” He asked. 

“An excruciating headache,” she told him. “The medicines that I have aren’t touching it, and I’d really like to be in my bed, trying to sleep it off.”

“What causes them?” 

“Depends on the person. Could have been those extra brownies that I had the other day.”

“Brownies?” Loki asked in surprise. 

“Or the milk.”

Loki was still confused. “Why the brownies?”

“The chocolate has a chemical on it that can cause migraines. I had extra brownies because someone was being an ass and lost his claim to the ones meant for him. So, I ate them and the ones I’d held back for him. Even after sharing with Bucky, I ate too many.”

Loki frowned at the mention of Bucky. “So, you’re blaming me in a roundabout way?”

“Let’s see, I gave you a box with all the brownies at the meeting, you didn’t eat them, so I had two there. Then I took the box I’d left with your breakfast and had one out of it. Then two more in my apartment with Bucky, plus the milk.”

“And it’s my fault that you couldn’t control yourself?” He glowered at her. 

“I would have only had the one if you hadn’t been an…..”

“Call me an ass one more time.” Loki’s eyes narrowed in warning. 

“Biblical donkey,” she said, smoothly. “How long will it take you to eat?”

“When I’ve finished.”

“Alright. You’ll have to excuse me. I’ll be back in about fifteen minutes. Please, take your time.”

Lyssa went out the door without another word and once it closed behind her, he could hear her walking quickly down the hall before vomiting into a waste can. She had tried to get out of earshot but hadn’t made it very far. 

When she came back, he’d finished his food and was waiting on her. 

“Could we do this another day?” She asked, running a shaky hand over her face. 

“No.” 

“I’d really rather be in bed...”

“Is that an invitation?”

“Irritating, asinine, arrogant — “

“Prince,” Loki interjected. 

“Spoiled space prince,” she ranted, ending with a noise that sounded suspiciously like a sob or strangled laugh. “So, the training room or the library?”

Loki blinked in surprise at the suddenness of her question. “The library, I think, since you’ve declined to be my partner.”

Lyssa stared at him from behind her sunglasses. She was curious what he’d meant when he’d said he’d be ‘very difficult’. She wasn’t sure how he could be any more difficult than right now. 

“You know, I really would just like to shoot you and get it over with.”

“I know.”

He gave her a maddening grin and walked to the door, waiting for her to open it. She gazed longingly at his broad back, seriously considering just discharging two cartridges into him and dealing with the consequences later. 

“Shooting someone in the back isn’t very professional,” he said, without looking around at her. 

“I’m sure Tony would understand. Completely,” she replied. “He might even give me a raise.”

Loki ducked his head without turning around and Lyssa felt certain that he was laughing. She glared at the back of his head. Her headache wasn’t letting up and she simply wasn’t in the mood to deal with Loki. She should have just left him to stew until she was better. 

Lyssa opened the door, allowing him to step out into the hallway. He paused until she’d shut the door, then led the way to the elevator that would take them down two floors to the library. 

Ordinarily, Lyssa would have never taken him to an elevator without a least one other agent accompanying her, but the pain in her head clouded her judgement. Loki bided his time, waiting to see when she’d realize her mistake.

After she’d pressed the button to select the floor and allowed the doors to close, Loki was on her. He’d moved so fast in the confined space that she simply had no time to react. 

He grabbed her by the wrists, raising them above her head and then grasping them within one large hand. The other slapped the control panel, stopping the elevator. Then he pushed her against the wall until the safety rail bit into her back. 

His free hand then covered her mouth firmly enough to push her head backwards into the wall. Loki studied her face for a moment, before slowly pulling the sunglasses away and tossing them aside. 

Lyssa blinked against the light as her eyes tried to focus. She lowered her head, wishing once again that she’d just stayed in bed. Loki took her wrists again and brought her arms down, then twisted them behind her, once again holding her with one hand. 

His fingers went under her chin, forcing her to look at him once again. Again he studied her, noticing the paleness and dark circles under her eyes, and then the tear stains. 

Lyssa met his gaze, fearlessly. She hadn’t been close enough to appreciate the color of his green eyes before nor just how flawless his skin was. He was sinfully handsome, tall, powerful…..and the list went on. 

“Just kill me and be done with it,” she finally sighed. “It would be a kindness considering how I feel right now.”

“But it would hardly be sporting,” he replied, allowing his fingers to circle her throat lightly. He felt the pulse in her throat, beating slow and steady. She still wasn’t afraid. 

“Since when would that bother you?”

He smiled softly but didn’t answer. His fingers touched her cheek as he brushed a strand of hair away. His other hand tightened on her wrists when he felt her maneuvering hers around, then he raised an eyebrow when her fingertips lightly caressed his bare wrist. 

“You’re not thinking of kissing me, are you?” She asked then. 

“You are beautiful. Infuriating, but beautiful,” he replied. “The thought had crossed my mind.”

“You think I’m beautiful?” She asked, rather surprised. 

“And infuriating,” he repeated. 

“But I’ve only tased you twice.” 

“Twice? You’ve —- “

The side of her mouth turned up into a slight grin and that was the only warning he had before his knees buckled, sending him to the floor. He fell heavily, dragging her with him since he still had hold of her wrists. His back slammed into the elevator wall, leaving him partially upright. 

Lyssa yelped as she fell on top of him, then got her hands free when his grip on her loosened. When she rolled away from him, she felt the scrabble of his fingers on her arm when he tried to grab her again. 

Loki managed to kick her feet out from under her when she started to get up, so she crawled away, headed for the control panel. The taser she’d used on him wasn’t as powerful as the guns, so she wouldn’t have much time before he could move again. 

“Infuriating…” he spat. 

“Arrogant,” she spat back.

“Weak….”

“Ass!”

Loki growled and made a great effort to move; he had rolled to his elbow and forced himself to his knees. His anger was negating the effects of the taser too quickly for her wellbeing. 

Lyssa pulled herself up by the safety rails and started the elevator moving again, then pressed the next available floor. She was on her feet by the time the doors slid open. She faced Loki, her back to the doors, ready to put some space between them as quickly as possible and her weapons were pointed at him. 

Loki was on his knees, pulling himself upright when the doors slid open. Lyssa took one step back, then hit the floor like a stone. Her head slammed heavily against the tile and Loki actually winced at the sound. 

He looked up at the three masked men standing in the doorway. They wore Special Ops gear. One of them reached down and dragged Lyssa out of the way by her ankles, leaving a trail of blood from her head on the white tile. 

Another then stepped into the elevator to retrieve her weapons. 

“I wouldn’t touch those. They’re programmed to her,” Loki commented softly. 

“Can you stand?”

Loki heaved himself to his feet and took a deep breath. He could just see Lyssa’s head from where he stood. He stood still and looked at the men. 

“Well?”

“You’re to come with us.”


	3. Chapter 3

Lyssa came to slowly and found herself on a narrow bed in an ice cold room. She sat up slowly, with a soft whimper at the new pain in her head. She realized then that she had also been stripped down to her underwear. A thin blanket covered her legs but she still shivered.

“It’s about time you woke up.”

Loki’s voice startled her; he was beside her, propped up against the stone wall, legs stretched out down the length of the bed.

“Loki?”

“Hmmmm.”

“Where are we?”

“I don’t know.”

Lyssa looked around the room. The stone walls were bare of insulation or even any type of wall hangings to keep the cold out or the heat in. There was a fire place, but no fire and a few pieces of furniture scattered around. The windows were rather high but let in plenty of light. Lyssa thought that they were in some type of castle or fortress.

“How long have we been here?”

“Since last evening, I think.” He replied.

“How long did it take for them to get us here? Did we come by vehicle or air?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Did you even _try_ to notice those things?” She asked him, almost incredulous at his nonchalance.

Lyssa pulled her hair back from her face and winced when her fingers found the two new injuries: the one at the back where she’d been struck and the one close to her temple where she’d hit the floor.

She got up slowly, hissing when her bare feet touched the cold wooden floor. She prowled around the room, looking for any way of escape. She noticed that the fireplace hadn’t been lit, so they had slept in the cold.

The windows were high, but could be reached with effort. Loki watched her silently while she moved a chair so that she could clamber onto a table, then gave a leap to grasp the windowsill. She pulled herself up without managing to scrape her bare knees and looked out the window.

Loki was rather impressed by her acrobatics and the sight of her athletic body as she scoped out their prison. She let go of the windowsill with one hand, dangled for a moment, before dropping lightly onto the table again, then to the floor.

She pulled on the hem of the tank top she wore in lieu of a bra, suddenly becoming aware of Loki’s green eyes upon her. He hadn’t moved when she left the bed.

“Are you alright?” She finally asked, thinking that he was far too quiet.

“I’m tired,” he replied. “That last gadget you hit me with has drained me and blocked my seidr.”

She stared at him warily. Loki was _never_ tired. He slept only a few hours at a time, and spent the rest of the time pacing or plotting some mischief. For the last six weeks, he’d rarely slept and as a result, had made her time with him hell.

“I had no idea that it would do that. It was to be used in case of close quarters contact,” she whispered, looking down at her hands. The ring she usually wore was gone.

Loki was surprised when she actually moved closer and took each hand in turn to carefully examine his wrists for a mark from the taser. Lyssa was on guard in case he made a move, but she knew that she’d have no chance against him, even if he was still affected by the taser.

Her hands were soft and gentle, but he felt their coldness. She was likely freezing. He looked at her closely and could see that she was trying to keep her teeth from chattering.

“Are you hurt?” She finally asked.

Mortals were a confusing lot. Here she was, with two new head injuries, plus the migraine, and was concerned for him. Over an injury that she’d caused him.

”No,” he replied, much to her relief.

Lyssa withdrew her hands and rubbed her temples gently. She wanted so badly to rest. Her feet felt like blocks of ice, and she knew that the blankets on the bed would never be enough to keep them warm.

“Why did they take my clothes?” She asked then.

“They didn’t have time to search you properly, so I suggested that they leave them behind.”

Loki had been quite surprised at the weapons that she’d had hidden on her: there had been several knives, plus another taser. He was rather glad that he hadn’t been on the receiving end of yet another one, and he was sure that she would have used it if necessary.

“ _You_ did? Why would you do that?”

“Because the alternative was leaving you there with a bullet in your head. I told them that I needed you.”

Lyssa shuddered as she rubbed her arms. She wasn’t sure what to think of this. She had no value to be the target of a kidnapping, and Loki certainly didn’t need her for anything.

“Thank you.” She said quietly.

“You’re welcome,” he replied. “Now, you should get under the blankets before you freeze. I know that they’re hardly adequate, but it’s something.”

Lyssa got up to obey, but a sound at the door caused her to move quickly to it, standing behind it, waiting to see who would enter. One of the kidnappers came in, unarmed, and Lyssa caught him by surprise with a quick punch that stunned him.

She slammed his head into a raised knee, then he hit the floor. She straddled him and punched him once more. When she started to search him, the cold barrel of a gun at her temple stopped her.

“Stop!” Loki had gotten up, but too late to stop her. “I still need her.”

“If you can’t control her, I will send her back to Stark in several boxes,” the second man replied.

Loki took Lyssa by the arm and pulled her to her feet, then pushed her behind him.

“I just wanted his clothes,” Lyssa muttered, rubbing her temples again.

Loki turned to her and pointed. She silently went and crawled onto the bed, pulling the blankets up over her as she sat in the corner.

“We need some things,” Loki said. “Clothes for her, socks…”

“Two pairs of socks if I can’t have shoes,” Lyssa interjected.

Loki looked back at her with a frown. She pulled the blankets tighter around her and looked away from him.

“Wood and something to start a fire with…”

“Blankets!” Lyssa added.

“Agent McAlister, why don’t you tell them what we need,” Loki said with a sigh.

“Warm clothes, two pairs of socks, thicker blankets, things for a fire, food, and for the love of God, something for my headache. Please.”

“Why should I provide all that?”

“Because you will find me very difficult to deal with if you don’t,” Loki replied.

Lyssa gave a slightly hysterical laugh. “Trust me, you don’t want that. At all.”

Loki shot her another glance and she decided that she’d better let him do the talking. She slid her gaze away from him again.

The kidnapper looked Loki over before helping his companion up and going out the door. He said something in a language that Loki didn’t understand. Lyssa gasped and clutched at the blankets. Loki knew then that she’d understood what was said.

Loki turned toward Lyssa, hands on hips. “You almost got yourself killed with that little stunt.”

“I just wanted his clothes,” she said. “I’m cold.”

“What did he say as they were leaving?”

Lyssa shook her head. “Nothing.”

Loki went to the bed and pulled the blankets away from her. She resisted but he finally wrested them away from her.

“Lie down,” he told her.

She obeyed and he covered her up before lying down beside her. He drew the blankets up over his shoulders as he turned his back to her.

“You may lie up against me until they bring the items that we’ve asked for,” he said.

Lyssa studied his broad back for a moment before carefully moving close to him and snuggling up against his warmth. She knew that she should stay as far away from him as possible, but she was freezing. She kept her arms between them and pressed her forehead against him, after pulling the blankets up almost over her head.

“I know a way that would warm you much quicker,” he said over his shoulder.

He felt her stiffen slightly before she turned her back to him.

“I have a headache,” she replied. “In Midgardian speak, that is an unequivocal NO.”

Loki laughed softly as he closed his eyes. It was a rather pleasant sensation, having her curled up against him. Lyssa started to relax slightly as she warmed up a bit. Her feet were still icy and she hoped that the socks would be forthcoming.

He sensed when she’d fallen asleep and carefully turned over so that he could pull her into the curve of his body. His hand rubbed her arm lightly, then moved to her bare leg. Her skin was soft, her hair fragrant from her shampoo. She moved slightly so he took his hand away from her and simply draped his arm across her.

Loki stayed awake, wanting to savor her closeness and also wanting to keep guard.


	4. Chapter 4

Sometime later, he sat up and took his previous position. Lyssa was still sleeping fitfully and he straightened the blankets over her. He didn’t want to be lying down when their captors returned.

Lyssa stirred and slowly sat up beside him. She rubbed her temples again, then touched the other wounds.

“Is your headache any better?” Loki asked quietly.

“No,” she replied. “You know, we probably wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t been such an…”

Loki interrupted her with a low huff, then his nearest hand went behind her neck. He pulled her close until she was practically leaning against his chest.

“There are no doors, video chats or stun guns between us,” he whispered warningly. “Do not call me that name again or there will be consequences.”

Lyssa kept a shiver from taking her at the tone of his voice. She couldn’t pull away from him as he kept his hand behind her neck and studied her profile.

“Al-Alright,” she replied, trying to find a place for her hands but failing as one rested on his thigh.

Loki reached over and slid an arm under her knees, lifting her effortlessly and placing her between his legs, then arranging her so that she leaned against his chest. He then pulled the blankets over her, securing her tightly against him.

He rubbed her arm and back lightly, feeling her tension. Here she was, wrapped in the arms of a man who could kill her with just one hand and who had already attacked her once. Now he was being careful and almost protective of her.

“Be still,” he told her. “Now, what did that man say earlier?”

“He was speaking French,” she replied hesitantly. “He said if you didn’t know how to keep me warm, he could show you.”

Loki took a deep breath and clenched his jaw. Lyssa felt it and went very still. She tried to move away from him, but he held her more tightly.

“No one will touch you. You have my word,” he said.

He could almost feel her skepticism and gave a small smile. He wouldn’t expect anything less from her.

“Loki?” She finally asked.

“Yes, Agent?”

“Could we have a truce while we’re here?”

“A truce.” He pondered the thought for a moment. “No tricks?”

“No sleeves, no tricks,” she replied. “But I expect the same of you, foolish as it may be.”

Loki chuckled softly and squeezed her. “Why would it be foolish?”

“Because I fully expect you to leave me behind when you escape,” she replied, bluntly. “I wouldn’t be able to stop you in any case.”

“When, not if?”

“Yep,” she said. “It’s in your nature, yes? Just like a scorpion will sting and a snake will bite.”

He grinned then, amused by her analogy. “Very well, Agent, we have a truce. I require one thing of you, though. Don’t let them know that you understand them and tell me what they say after they’ve gone.”

“I can do that,” she replied. “And you can call me Lyssa if you like.”

“Lyssa, then,” he whispered. “So, let’s seal it with a kiss.”

Before she could react, he’d lifted her face up and kissed her. She went still in shock, then pushed against him. He held her firmly, gently exploring her mouth until she went still in his arms. His hand went to the back of her head and she instantly grabbed at his fingers when they settled over the spot where she’d been hit from behind.

“Apologies,” he breathed. “I’d forgotten.”

“It’s alright,” she said shakily. That kiss had warmed her thoroughly.

They sat that way for a bit until Loki lifted her again and set her back at his side. She looked at him quizzically.

“They’re coming back,” he told her. “Stay here, keep covered and don’t speak.”

Lyssa nodded at his instructions, as his tone invited no argument. He stood and waited for the door to open. Two men came in, arms full of firewood, blankets and clothing. Another followed with a tray of food. Two more came in to guard the others.

Lyssa was anxious to get to the clothes and food but didn’t move when Loki glanced back at her. He had sensed that she was about to disobey him and stopped her in her tracks.

One of the men got the fire going and stacked the extra wood near the fireplace. The bundle of blankets and clothes were tossed at Loki’s feet and then the men backed out of the room. Once the door was closed and locked, Loki picked up the bundle and took it to the bed.

Together, they sorted through the items. Lyssa had been given sweatpants and a sweatshirt and several pairs of socks. Loki was amused with the speed with which she put them on. They were far too big for her but at least they were warm.

She drew a blanket around her shoulders before going to the food tray. There was soup, bread, cheese and water, plus a small bottle of aspirin. If Loki was very hungry, it wouldn’t be enough, but Lyssa really didn’t have much of an appetite due the headache.

Before she could take any of the aspirin, Loki took the bottle from her hand and examined it. It was still sealed.

“Look closely,” he told her. “Be sure that this is alright to take.”

Lyssa looked the bottle over, then broke the seal. She held it to her nose and recognized the smell of aspirin.

“Smells like aspirin,” she told him. “Although they don’t always help.”

“Why don’t you eat first?” He suggested.

“Alright, but I’m not very hungry. I’m still nauseous,” she replied.

“Eat.”

She spooned a small amount of soup into a bowl and took a piece of bread but declined the cheese.

“You can have the rest. This is all I want,” she told him when he started to force her take a slice.

She went to sit in front of the fire to eat, and Loki followed suit with his food. They ate in silence for a few minutes.

“I think we may be in Canada,” she commented, putting her empty soup bowl down while she finished her bread. “His French has a different accent. Are you certain that you couldn’t tell whether we were moved by vehicle or air?”

Loki thought for a moment, although he already knew the answer to the question.

“Vehicle,” he finally replied.

“Canada, then,” she surmised. “Not too far from home.”

After a couple minutes, Lyssa got up and took her bowl back to the food tray. She went into the small bathroom and closed the door.

While he waited, Loki took the mattress off the bed and put it in front of the fire, careful not to put it too close. He put the pillows and new blankets on it, then sat down again.

She was gone for about fifteen minutes before Loki became concerned that she might have passed out. He’d started to get up when the door opened again. Lyssa had washed her face and some of the blood out of her hair.

“You didn’t tell me that I was a bloody mess,” she said. “The bathroom is antiquated, but it has running water. No hot water, though.”

She was surprised to see the mattress on the floor and gave him a quick glance. She pulled the blanket around her shoulders again and sat down, a bit further away from him. Loki noticed and watched her for a moment.

“I thought we had a truce,” he commented. “Apparently you don’t trust me.”

“I’ve already made one mistake with you by taking you onto the elevator, which was very stupid of me. I don’t intend on making another one,” she replied. “Are you saying that I _should_ trust you?”

“You’d do well not to,” he said. “And I don’t think you stupid.”

“Thanks, I think.” Lyssa brought her knees up and laid her head down. “I can’t tell where the migraine stops and the concussion starts. Day six and I feel like death would be kinder.”

Loki watched as she rocked slightly. After a couple minutes, she scooted closer to the fire and picked up the poker to adjust the logs a bit. Lyssa stared into the flames for a couple of minutes before inching away.

“Put that back,” Loki said softly.

Lyssa glanced back at him, before realizing that she still had the poker in her hand. She quickly returned it to its spot and looked at him while adjusting the blanket.

“I wasn’t going to use it against you. The tasers barely effect you, that thing would just make you mad,” she said.

Loki nodded slightly, then patted the mattress next to him. Lyssa shook her head as she drew her knees up again.

“I’m fine right here.”

She yelped in surprise when he grabbed her by the ankles and pulled her to him, putting her where he wanted her.

“You sure are handsy,” she complained, trying to calm her racing heart.

“Why do you not fear me?” He asked suddenly.

Lyssa looked at him in surprise. “What makes you think I don’t?”

“I could smell the fear on those other agents that you replaced,” he replied, studying her intently.

“I guess I’ve been hanging around the Avengers too long,” she shrugged.

“Sergeant Barnes specifically?”

Lyssa looked at him, curious about his interest in Bucky.

“They’re all like brothers to me,” she said. “Big, butt-whooping brothers.”

Loki choked back a laugh. “But they’re not here. So, why are you still not afraid?”

“I honestly don’t know. You could have killed me in the elevator. I’m sure there were other times where you could have hurt or killed me, but you didn’t. If I stood between you and freedom, you might make that decision but right now I’m not a threat. At least, I don’t think I am.”

Loki continued to study her; she studied him back. He was intrigued by her candidness. Her green eyes met his without flinching.

“My turn to ask a question,” she finally said.

“Alright.” Loki agreed with a smile.

“Why didn’t you kill me in the elevator?”

Lyssa could see that her question had unsettled him and she continued to gaze at him expectantly.

“Because I didn’t want to. I wanted to get my hands on you, to make you fear me.”

“How did that work out?”

Was she actually teasing him? He thought, incredulously.

“The day is still young,” he replied, with a slight smile.

“True. Is that why you kissed me, to make me afraid?”

Lyssa felt her breath catch when Loki’s gaze became so intense that she almost knew what his answer would be.

“Oh, no, Lyssa,” he practically purred. “I kissed you because I wanted to taste you.”

He caught her around the waist when she tried to retreat far enough to be out of his reach, then easily lifted her into his lap and held her there. She struggled until he had her immobilized.

One hand was on her throat, his thumb under the point of her chin to hold her face up so that he could kiss her again. She resisted, so he then trapped her head against his shoulder so that she couldn’t turn her away from him.

While he kissed her, his other hand slid under her shirt then over her ribs. She jumped at the contact but still couldn’t get free of his grasp.

“I’ve said ‘no”,” she said, gasping.

“Hmmm,” he replied. “But I’m used to getting what I want.”

_Spoiled prince_ , she thought to herself, pushing against him again.

“Let me go.”

“I don’t really need your consent.”

There it was, just a tiny bit of fear, but it wasn’t that she was afraid of him, she was afraid _for_ him.

“There would be consequences,” she replied, not looking at him while still trying to get away.

“And what would those be?”

“They would hurt you, maybe even kill you.” She said, referring to Tony, Steve, Thor and Bucky.

Loki scoffed at the thought. Thor was the only one that could seriously hurt him. He did allow her to move away from him, though. She sat at the end of the mattress, out of reach, trying to get control of herself.

“I couldn’t let that happen,” she continued softly. “Especially over a lie.”

“Why, Agent McAlister, I had no idea.”

His mocking tone caused her to look at him rather sadly. For some reason, that bothered him.

“You were too busy being an...that name I’m forbidden to call you,” she replied tiredly, getting up and going to the food tray to see what was left. “I loaned you my own books, made your meals and baked the brownies for you. All of which you mocked me for.”

She picked up the remaining piece of bread and dipped it into the cold broth, eating slowly. When she finished, she took a couple of aspirin with a sip of the water that had been given them.

Loki watched as she rubbed her head again, then pulled the elastic band out of her hair order to release the tension on her scalp.

“If you could have brought yourself to behave and earn SHIELD’s trust, things might have turned out differently, despite how you feel about Midgardians.”

Lyssa glanced at the light coming through the windows; it was getting dark.

“Now, I’m tired and would like to lie down,” she said softly.

She put another log on the fire, then used the poker to make adjustments before taking care to put it back in its spot. She then returned to the mattress and straightened the blankets in order to slide under them.

Loki adjusted his position so that she could stretch her legs out, then moved to lie down behind her. She was on her side, back to him, facing the fireplace. He laid on his back and stared at the ceiling for a bit. Lyssa restlessly turned on her back and kicked one foot out from under the blankets.

Loki rose up on an elbow and leaned over her, studying her face for a moment.

“Can’t sleep?” He finally asked.

“No,” she replied.

He reached out and gently stroked her cheek. She caught his hand, then surprised him by placing a soft kiss into his palm. He leaned closer and nuzzled the side of her neck.

“You mustn’t mark me,” she said, trembling. “I’d never be able to explain why I was so foolish and stupid.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

Lyssa was jolted awake by the sound of something falling on the floor. She scrambled up, looking around for the source of the sound and was shocked to see the door to the room standing open. A closer look revealed the prone body of one of the kidnappers. 

“Loki?”

She walked cautiously toward the door and saw a folded pair of pants with a pair of boots next to them, along with a heavy coat and a belt with two holstered handguns. Plus there were two automatic rifles leaning against the wall. 

Lyssa quickly yanked the pants on over her sweatpants, then put the boots on. She fastened the gun belt on, then checked that both pistols were loaded and ready. She then checked both rifles before slinging one across her back. She grabbed the coat and tucked it through the belt before slowly going out the door. 

She stepped over the body of yet another kidnapper, basically following Loki’s path of destruction. She didn’t know how long he’d been gone, but it was long enough to avoid capture. She was thankful, as well as surprised, that he’d left her the clothes and weapons. 

Lyssa paused at the head of the narrow staircase when she heard movement below. She took a position where she could see anyone coming up and readied her weapon. 

A quick burst from her rifle caused the soldiers who appeared below to duck and take cover. 

“Hands or faces!” She shouted, firing off more rounds in response to return fire from them. 

She changed position quickly before shooting again, then popped up from behind the balcony wall to fire off more rounds. 

“Hold fire!”

Lyssa didn’t recognize the voice over the pounding headache and adrenaline rush. She popped up again, pulling the trigger. This time she heard the familiar sound of bullets ricocheting off vibranium. Then she was grabbed from behind. The rifle was wrenched from her grasp, thrown to the floor and both her hands captured. The rifle on her back was also discarded. 

“I got you,” a voice said, close to her ear. 

“Bucky!” Lyssa immediately went limp in his arms. 

Bucky picked her up, bridal style, and started down the steps with her. 

“All clear!” He called out. 

He carried her to the waiting helicarrier while the rest of the team searched out the old manor and took custody of the remaining kidnappers. Bucky held her in his lap, then took the gun belt off and placed it beside him. He then draped the coat over her while an onboard medic quickly examined her. 

He kept guard until Steve and Tony returned while Thor searched for Loki. 

“Boss?” Lyssa said, softly. 

“You didn’t watch your back, Agent.”

Tony sat across from them and leaned forward. 

“Ain’t that the truth. My head still hurts.”

“How long has Loki been gone?”

“I’m not sure. He was already gone when I woke up. He left a trail behind him.”

Lyssa groaned softly and the medic prepared a syringe with a pain med, then injected her. She slowly went still as the medicine worked quickly. Tony adjusted the coat and sat down beside Steve just as Thor returned. 

“No sign of him,” Thor shook his head angrily. “Does she know how long he’d been gone?”

“No,” Tony replied. 

“I’ll keep looking and meet you back at the tower.”

Thor took another glance at Lyssa then stopped suddenly before going back to her and touching her forehead. He pulled the coat away from her neck, ignoring the shiver she gave. 

“What is it?” Bucky asked. 

“She’s covered in his seidr.”

“What?” Tony gave a start. “Is that bad?”

“Not necessarily,” Thor replied, pulling the coat back up over her. “It’s not really unusual, but he had to be very close to her.”

Thor gave her another speculative glance before leaving the helicarrier to continue his search. Steve joined them after giving the manor a final sweep, then took the controls of the jet to fly them home. 

****

Lyssa woke in the infirmary to the sight of Thor and Tony sitting with her. They both looked rather grim. 

“Am I dying or something?” She asked in alarm, sitting up so fast that her head began to swim. 

“No, of course not,” Thor replied, with a soft smile. 

She looked at them both warily. “What is it? Have you found him?”

“No,” Tony said, shaking his head. 

“So, I suppose I’m fired? Is there going to be jail time?” She asked quietly. 

“You’re on leave until the doctors clear you. You have a concussion that wasn’t treated, plus, I think your migraine is still there?”

“I can’t tell the difference any more. My head hasn’t stopped hurting at all.”

“I thought so,” he replied. “Tell me what you remember, starting with the elevator.”

She told them what had happened up until she was struck from behind. Her story corresponded with the security footage. 

“I didn’t wake until the next day, around noon, I think. Loki said we’d been there since the previous evening, but I can’t be sure of that.”

“Sounds right,” Thor replied, motioning for her to continue. 

“They left my clothes behind and and they finally brought something for me to wear, blankets, food and something to start a fire with. It was awfully cold in the room.”

“Did he hurt you?” Tony asked softly. 

“No,” she replied. “I’d used the ring taser on him in the elevator and he seemed very tired, and said it had blocked his magic.”

Tony gave a surprised look. “It’s not designed to do that.”

“What??” She gasped. “That LIAR!!

Thor couldn’t help but chuckle at that and Tony gave him a quelling look. 

“What else?”

“He’d moved the mattress in front of the fire, and I fell asleep. I woke up this morning when something hit the floor. It may have been him escaping but I never saw him,” she continued. “Did I shoot any of our agents?”

“No. You either have terrible or perfect aim,” Tony grinned. 

“Well, I wasn’t sure if they were friend or foe, so the first few rounds were warning shots.”

“Very good,” Tony nodded decisively. “Anything else you can remember?”

“No, Boss.”

“Where did you get the bracelet?” Thor asked. 

“What bracelet?” She asked. “I don’t wear jewelry. You know that.”

Thor gently lifted her wrist and her eyes widened at the sight of the bracelet, woven with threads of gold, green and black, and with no seam. 

“It’s not mine, I don’t remember getting it or where it came from,” she whispered, running her finger under the bracelet, checking for a clasp. 

“Alright, get some rest, Agent. You’ll be discharged tomorrow and you’re off duty until further notice. Everything is fine, we just want to be sure you’re up to par,” Tony told her. 

“I’m sorry that my mistake let him escape,” she told him. 

“Get some rest.” Tony squeezed her shoulder in reassurance. 

They stepped out into the hallway and looked at her through the window to her room. She was still toying with the bracelet, a confused look on her face. 

“He’s tampered with her memories,” Thor said quietly. 

“Why would he do that?”

“I’m not sure but she won’t be able to tell us.”

*****

Lyssa returned to her apartment once she was released from the infirmary. She was still relieved of duty, pending further tests, but her headache was on its way out. She wandered around aimlessly, needing to do something. 

She baked a batch of brownies and invited Bucky to share them with her. She limited herself to a half one, and they sat companionably at her breakfast bar while he ate. 

“You know you’re not confined to quarters, right?” He asked. 

“I know, it’s just I’m not allowed to train yet, and anything else I’d normally do is work related,” she sighed. “I have no friends outside this building and you all are busy.”

“Tell you what,” he said, finishing off his milk. “I’m off duty tonight, so why don’t we go out for dinner or a movie, or something?”

“Yeah, that sounds great,” she agreed, leaning against his shoulder. “Maybe just dinner though. The movie theater may trigger another headache.”

“Alright,” he said. “I’ll come get you at seven.”

“Sounds like a plan.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve reworked chapter 6 and have added a couple more chapters, but truth be told, this one is going sideways like a locomotive on ice. I kept writing, hoping inspiration would strike, but....nothing.... I will probably have to leave it alone for a while.

Bucky collected Lyssa from her apartment and they walked from the tower to a small restaurant that they and the others frequented often.  

He left the table for a few minutes after they’d finished their meal, and Lyssa ordered dessert: apple pie ala mode for him and a piece of strawberry cheesecake for herself.

While they sat and talked, Lyssa felt that they were being scrutinized, but the restaurant was not crowded at all, and no one seemed to be paying them much mind.

“What’s wrong?” Bucky asked her.

“I’m not sure. I feel like we’re being watched,” she replied, with a slight shrug.

“Who wouldn’t want to watch a pretty girl?” He teased her.

Lyssa tossed a wadded up napkin at him.  “More likely someone watching the handsome boy.”

“Boy?” He asked. “I’ll have you know that I’m old enough to be your father, young lady.”

Lyssa laughed then, while he gave her a wink. “My grandpa, you mean.”

“Ouch,” he said, holding his hand over his heart. “That stings.”

She laughed again before reaching over to take his hand and squeezing it.

“So, any idea how long you’ll be out of commission?” He asked her.

“No. They’re worried about the concussion, since it wasn’t treated immediately. The MRI results were ‘slightly abnormal’ but that’s all they will tell me. They say they don’t want to ‘worry’ me.”  

Lyssa studied their linked hands for a few minutes. Her thumb gently rubbed across his knuckles while she was lost in thought.

“What are you thinking?”

“About the mistake that I made that enabled Loki to escape,” she replied softly. “It was incredibly stupid of me to take him onto that elevator alone.”

Bucky watched her for a few minutes, noting the stress and worry on her face.

“He likely could have escaped at any time while outside his room,” he said. “Maybe he chose not to.”

“Why would he do that?”

Bucky didn’t answer, but remembered how Loki looked when she’d tended to the cut on his scalp, after she’d tased him. Despite his protests in having her touch him, Loki’s expression had softened. Bucky had a suspicion that the god of mischief had developed feelings for her. How deep those feelings ran was a question that no one but Loki could answer.

Later that night, Lyssa laid in her bed, unable to sleep. She’d tossed and turned for about two hours before finally getting up and getting dressed, thinking that maybe a walk would enable her to sleep.

She left the building at around midnight, heading to an all night diner that was several blocks away. The streets were fairly empty but due to her training, she kept aware of her surroundings and the people she passed.

Once she reached the diner, she ordered coffee and a couple of donuts before taking a booth. She sat with her feet up on the bench, and leaned back on the wall while she ate.  

Again, she felt as if someone was watching her, but could not find the source. She sat in the booth until almost daybreak, then returned to her apartment. She was very tired, but wasn’t a bit sleepy.

This went on for several weeks, and the insomnia began to take its toll on her. She grew pale and her appetite was also diminished. She refused to take any medication to help her sleep, and Tony became worried that very soon she’d simply collapse from exhaustion.

Jarvis would let one of them know when she slipped out of the building, and they’d try to follow, but she was gone by the time they’d reach the street. Tony had put a tracker in her jacket, but then she’d start leaving it behind. He was seriously considering some type of tracker that he could implant, but the others were against it.

He and Thor were of an opinion that Loki had done something that had altered her personality, since she had also become irritable with everyone, even Bucky.

The doctors felt that everything was to blame on the concussion, and would be resolved as she healed. They refused to hospitalize her unless her behavior became more erratic.

*** ~~~ ***

“Lyssa, please lie down and try to sleep,” Bucky told her, gently, after watching her pace for close to an hour.

“I can’t!  Why can’t you all understand that?”

They were in her apartment, and he’d come to bring lunch to her. She’d only eaten a couple of bites before resuming her pacing.

“Hey,” he said, stepping in front of her and taking hold of her arms. “I’ll stay with you. Lie down on the couch and I’ll find something on TV to watch, hmmm?  Something boring.”

Lyssa took a deep breath and looked up at him. She was almost ashen at this point and her hair had knots in it from where her fingers had nervously twisted it.

“I could brush your hair for you.”  

Bucky reached out and very carefully stroked her cheek with his thumb. Her anger came quickly these days, and he didn’t want to set her off. Lyssa leaned into his touch with closed eyes.

“You think I'm crazy, don’t you?” She whispered.

“No, of course not,” he replied. “But there is something wrong. Will you take the medicine that the doctor sent?”

“No.” She shook her head adamantly and backed away.

“Alright,” he said. “Come to the couch with me and let’s see what we can find to watch, okay?”

She allowed him to lead her to the couch. He sat down first, then put a pillow in his lap. She sat down, then laid her head on the pillow. Bucky put a throw blanket over her after they’d gotten comfortable.

“Sleep if you can; if not, just rest,” he told her, gently combing her hair with his fingers.

He rubbed her neck while she lay quietly, watching the program that he’d found on TV. She was able to be still, although she didn’t sleep. Bucky, however, did doze off and when he awoke, she was gone. Jarvis had tried to alert him, but couldn’t wake him.

Bucky got up to quickly check the bathroom and was horrified to find that she’d cut her hair with a knife that she’d taken from him while he was sleeping. The knife had been left in the middle of the shorn locks.

“She did what?” Tony had been incredulous. “We’ve got to find her and she _will_ be put under medical supervision.”

*** ~~~ ***

Loki watched the diner from across the street, waiting to see if Lyssa would make her almost daily appearance. She’d never seen him, but had obviously felt his gaze on her. He’d shape-shifted so that no one would recognize him, although Thor might be able to if he got close enough.

Once he’d escaped from the Canadian manor, he disguised himself as a SHIELD agent and hitched a ride back on one of the personnel carriers. Then he’d slipped away into the crowded New York street.

He knew that he should be well away from his brother’s proximity but couldn’t bring himself to leave once he’d seen Lyssa on her late night walks. She didn’t look well, and he wondered how long it would take for Stark, or anyone else, to help her.

Once Lyssa was in her usual booth, he crossed the street and slid into a seat that wasn’t too close to her but which allowed him to watch without being noticed.

“Honey, who cut your hair?” The waitress asked her after putting down a coffee cup and two pastries. “If you paid for that, you should get your money back.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Lyssa replied, tiredly. “I’ll get it fixed tomorrow.”

“Sweetie, you look tired,” the woman said, gently. “Are you alright?”

“I haven’t been able to sleep for a while…”

“You’re working too hard,” the waitress said helpfully.

“You’re right, but it won’t be for much longer,” Lyssa told her, trying to reassure her.

“I hope so.”

The waitress filled her coffee cup, then moved away to tend to the other patrons. Loki watched while Lyssa fiddled with her hair, then finally tucked what she could behind her ears. She turned sideways in the booth and drew her knees up while she picked the pastries apart to eat the filling. When she finished, she pushed the plate away, then began to toy with the bracelet he’d put on her.

He’d done it on a whim, just to leave his mark on her, and maybe to irritate Thor and Tony. The last night in the manor, he’d wanted her badly, and had settled for kissing her. He’d come so close to taking her, and had only stopped because he’d felt her fear then, but it was not the kind that he had in mind.

She’d trembled uncontrollably; her want for him and the need to keep to her duty had warred within her to the point that she’d been terrified of the consequences.

Loki had blocked that event from her memory so that Thor and the others wouldn’t suspect that she’d almost been compromised. He’d meant it as a kindness, but he could see that she was still at war with herself, even though she didn’t know it.

The enchantment he used shouldn’t have caused such a reaction in her, and it concerned him that she appeared to be seriously ill, and that no one in Stark’s building seemed to have a clue about just how ill she was.

Lyssa stopped toying with the bracelet, and laid her head back against the wall behind her. Her eyes absently skimmed over the other people in the diner, before coming back to Loki abruptly.

When she stared at him, he gave her a small smile and nodded his head slightly. She stared for a few more seconds, almost expressionless, before closing her eyes.

She sat that way for several minutes, before a noise in the kitchen caused her to raise her head while rubbing her eyes. Then she quickly scrambled out of the booth, and ducked down while heading to the counter. Loki looked around to see what had alarmed her, and was just a bit ill at ease to see Thor, Tony and Bucky standing just outside the door.

“What is it, honey?” The waitress asked, when she saw Lyssa hiding behind the counter.

“Is-is there a back entrance, please?” Lyssa asked, while pressing a twenty dollar bill into the woman’s palm. “It’s my ex and some of his friends.”

“Slip into the kitchen, quick,” the woman motioned. “Jorge will let you out.”

Lyssa eased through the double doors as instructed, then out the back door. She took off running up the alley way then, hoping to put some distance between her and the men.

*** ~~~ ***

“I could have sworn…” Bucky said, while looking around the diner. “I’m sure she was sitting right there.”

The waitress had already cleared off the dishes and wiped the table down before they’d come in, and was refilling Loki’s coffee. He glanced their way before looking at his menu again.

“Sit anywhere you like,” the waitress told them.

Instead, they walked around the dining room, with Bucky going to peer into the kitchen.

“She may have slipped out the backdoor,” he told the others quietly.

With one last glance around, they left the diner and separated in order to cover more ground. Bucky went to the back of the building but Lyssa was long gone. He and the others had no reason to believe that she’d run from them, so they hadn’t covered the back exit. They’d know better next time, if they ever caught up to her.

Loki watched them leave, and ordered a donut. He didn’t want to be seen leaving in a hurry, and he had the advantage of knowing where Lyssa was, due to his enchantment on the bracelet.

After he’d eaten, he paid and walked out onto the sidewalk. He took a moment to look around before starting down the street.


	7. Chapter 7

After leaving the diner, Lyssa remained in the alley for a bit, until she was sure that she wasn’t being followed, then she moved to the sidewalk, slowing to a brisk walk.

As she passed an alleyway, she was grabbed from behind and dragged into the darkness. A knife at her throat kept her from struggling or calling for help.

“Where’s the money, sweetheart.” A voice whispered, close to her ear.

“There’s a few bucks in my pocket, that’s all I have with me,” Lyssa replied.

“No phone? No jewelry?”

“No.”

“Maybe there’s something else you have…..”

The voice was cut off when she punched the man in the throat, then in the face. He went down and she then kicked him in the ribs several times in sheer anger.

Before she could damage him further, she was caught again from behind.  She fought hard to get free but was held by someone who was tall enough to lift her off the ground.

A hand went to the side of her face and she blacked out. When she came to, she was in a large bedroom and she didn’t recognize it. Lyssa clambered off the bed and went to the door, but couldn’t open it.

“Lyssa.”

That voice. Lyssa pressed her forehead to the door before turning around to face Loki. He noticed that her hands instinctively went to her hips, reaching for her stun guns, but then she realized she no longer had them.

“What did you do to me,” she said, her voice low and harsh as she stalked toward him.

“I haven’t done anything to you,” he replied.

“You did something to my head and you put this bracelet on me, _didn’t you?_ ”

Her fists came down hard onto his chest. He barely felt it, but her hands immediately began to sting. It was as if she’d hit a brick wall. She jumped away when he reached for her, and backed away from him.

Loki started toward her, but she sidled away, causing him to slowly stalk her around the room. Once she was between him and the windows, she bolted with every intention of hurling herself through the glass.

It was so unlike her that Loki was surprised by the move but was able to catch her by using a clone. She screamed and fought him hard until she’d exhausted herself. Then he held her against him while she tried to catch her breath.

After a couple of minutes, Loki reached up and carefully pried a hand out of his hair. Lyssa tried to get an arm between them so that she could escape his hold, but he was so strong that she had no choice but to give up.

“You did this to me,” she rasped, her voice breaking with unshed tears.

“I’ve done nothing,” he repeated.

“They are ready to put me in a psych ward!” She struggled again, more weakly.

“Be still.”

Loki carried her to the bed and sat down with her in his lap. He held onto her when she struggled again but she finally stopped with a soft sob.

“You should have killed me.” Lyssa clasped her hands together and held them to her chest.

“Shh, we have a truce, remember?” he said. “Have you hurt yourself?”

“Bastard,” she whispered, dropping her head in defeat while he rubbed her hands gently. “That truce ended when you escaped.”

“I’ll still recognize it, Agent,” he replied. “Now, I want you to get some sleep.”

“I haven’t been able to do that since I got back….”

Loki’s fingers gently slid through her hair in order to rub her scalp. She’d made quite a mess of it with Bucky’s knife.

“Why did you cut your hair?”

“Too heavy...made my head hurt,” she sighed.

“I see,” Loki murmured. “Go to sleep now.”

He began to speak in a low voice, in a language she didn’t understand, and she felt herself drifting off. She tried to fight it, but Loki’s voice was soothing, and she soon went limp in his embrace.

Loki slipped her boots off, put her to bed, then sealed the room with a spell that would prevent her from breaking any of the windows and then with one on the door that would alert him if it were opened.

Before leaving the room, he looked back at her. She’d curled into a tight ball with the covers almost over her head. He closed the door firmly and left her to rest.

***

Several hours later, he went in to check on her and was surprised to find her sitting up and looking around. The sleeping spell he’d used should have knocked her out at least until morning.  

Lyssa looked at him when he stepped in. He could tell that she was still disoriented.

“Where are we?” She asked quietly.

“Somewhere safe,” he responded.

“Have you stolen someone’s _house_?”

“Borrowed,” he replied with a grin.

She laughed with a groan as she raised her knees and started to put her head down before a sudden thought struck her.

“You haven’t hurt the owners of this house, have you?”

“Rest assured, Agent, they’re safely on vacation,” he told her. “I've done my reconnaissance.”

Lyssa nodded then stared down at her hands.

“Are you hungry?” Loki asked, walking closer to her.

“No.”

“When’s the last time you’ve eaten properly?”

“Now you’re starting to sound like Thor and Bucky,” she grouched, pulling the bedcovers up over her lap as she put her knees down. “Eat this, eat that, you gotta eat...do you know how frustrating that is?”

“Bite your tongue, woman, the next time you think to compare me to my brother,” he replied, with a soft laugh.

Lyssa nodded without looking at him. Loki watched her in silence for several minutes. He wasn’t sure what his next move would be, but he knew that she needed more help than he could offer. While he could heal most injuries, he was not as skilled on head injuries.

When he’d touched her hair, he discovered that the sheen and softness had gone as a result of her not eating; she’d also lost weight, as well as being very shaky and weak.

“Is there any type of juice here?” She asked.

“There may be something that will suit,” he replied, getting up.

“But no tomato juice, please. I’d rather have water over that.”

“I’ll see what is available.”

He left the room for a few minutes and returned with a bottle of juice and a cup of yogurt. Lyssa took the juice and drank most of it, after waving off the yogurt.

“On second thought, I might try that,” she said, reaching for the yogurt. “I like black cherry flavor, and it’s hard to find.”

Loki set the juice bottle aside and waited until she’d eaten the yogurt, then tossed both containers into the trash can.

“I’m sorry that I struck you earlier,” Lyssa murmured.

“Apology accepted. I’d much rather that than one of your tasers,” he replied. “I trust that you don’t have any of those with you?”

He’d already searched her, so he knew that she didn’t have any weapons, not even a knife, but reasoned that it didn’t hurt to ask.

“No.” She shook her head, causing her hair to fall into her face. “I’ve been relieved of duty.”

“Why?”

“It’s a long story,” she sighed.

“We’ve nowhere to go,” he replied, with a smile.

“True.”

Lyssa sat back against the headboard with a sigh and closed her eyes. Then she surprised him by patting the spot beside her. Loki moved to sit beside her, stretching out comfortably.

“First, I want to thank you for leaving me the clothes and weapons when you escaped,” she told him. “And for not killing me.”

Loki nodded his head, a bit surprised by her words. He’d really had no intention of harming her at all. Despite everything, he’d come to like her, after merely tolerating her at first.

“I got a concussion when that man hit me from behind. It wasn’t treated immediately, so it caused my headache to linger. I had an MRI, where the doctors took a scan of my brain. They didn’t really find anything wrong, other than a ‘slight abnormality’, whatever the hell that is.”

Lyssa dropped her gaze to the quilt covering her lap, and picked nervously at a loose thread. 

“I haven’t been able to sleep, and with the others hovering over me, it’s made me _very_ irritable.” She gave him a sly look from the corner of her eye. “I _almost_ put you to shame.”

Loki couldn’t help but laugh at that. He’d gotten just a small taste of what the others had been seeing when she’d slammed her fists into his chest. He’d bet that she’d be a little hellion when her temper was up.

“I’ve gotten the impression from Tony that he thinks I'm cracking up and wants to confine me with medical supervision.”

“And this all started once you returned to the tower?” He asked, thinking that his spell might be the culprit after all.

“Mhmmm.” Lyssa broke the thread off the quilt, then began tying tiny knots in it. “So, how long are you going to keep me here?”

“I’m not sure,” he replied. “Does it frighten you to be alone with me?”

Lyssa tossed the string she’d been playing with aside while taking a deep breath.

“Are we going to go through that again? At this point, I’m not sure if that matters anymore. You could hurt me at anytime, but you haven’t,” She said. “Tomorrow might be the day that you do, but frankly, I just don’t care anymore. You will do what you want, and I’m in no shape to stop you.”

Loki said nothing for a long minute.  “I won’t hurt you,” he finally said. “What do you remember about that last night in Canada?”

“I remember us talking by the fire. You kissed me several times, then we went to sleep.  At least, I did,” she responded. “You must have put this on me then.”

She indicated the bracelet, and ran her finger under it. Loki watched her graceful hands, and then held his hand out, palm up.

“Would you want me to take it off?”

Lyssa’s eyes met his, and they studied each other for a couple of minutes. Then she put her hand into his; he squeezed her fingers very gently.

“No, I rather like it, if it’s okay with you.”

“Of course,”” he replied.

Lyssa squeezed his hand before excusing herself to the bathroom. When she returned, she resumed her previous spot.

“Hmm, believe it or not, I’m getting sleepy,” she commented, after glancing at the windows to see that it was dark out.

“I’ll let you rest. There may be a gown in one of those drawers, if you want one.”

“Alright, thanks.”


	8. Chapter 8

“Any word?” Steve asked, when Tony came into the conference room.

“No. Jarvis has checked with hospitals and police stations to see if she’s there,” Tony replied, going over to the bar to pour himself a drink.

Bucky and Thor glanced at each other silently. Lyssa hadn’t returned to her apartment, and none of them had seen even the slightest hint of her. Even Natasha and Clint had joined the search, with no results.

Thor had a theory that he chose not to voice yet: that Loki had something to do with her disappearance. He didn’t realize that Bucky shared the same thoughts.

Tony paced in front of a window that looked out over the city. He didn’t like _literally_ losing an employee, and had no idea where Lyssa could have gone. She didn’t have any family in the city, nor any other friends where she could stay over. The alternatives didn’t bear thinking about.

“I’ve sent her picture to them in case she does show up,” Tony said, more to his reflection than to any of them. He turned to face the team. “So, any ideas?”

Before anyone could answer, Jarvis spoke. “Sir, there is a visitor in the lobby who insists upon speaking to you.”

“Show me.”

The AI showed him the video of a man standing near the guard desk. Tony didn’t recognize him, nor did any of the others.

“What does he want?”

“It’s about Agent McAlister.”

“On our way.”

When they all reached the lobby, Tony lead the way to the guard desk. The man stood with his back to them, and turned only when Tony spoke to him.

“Do you have information regarding my agent?”

“Indeed I do.”

There was no mistaking that voice. Tony gave a start when it was Loki who was suddenly standing in front of them.

“What have you done with her?” Thor asked, angrily.

“Nothing, Brother. She’s sleeping at the moment,” Loki replied, with a maddening smile.

“Where is she?” Bucky asked.

“In a safe place.” Loki shrugged, then held up a hand when several armed agents approached the group. “Oh, those weapons won’t be necessary, nor effective.”

Thor realized then that Loki had cast an illusion of himself and that they’d never be able to find or follow him.

“What do you want with her?” Tony then asked.

“Nothing, at the moment,” Loki replied. “I _am_ curious to know how much longer you were going to let her suffer before doing anything to help her.”

“What do you mean?” Thor asked.

“Surely it hasn’t escaped your attention that she’s not well?” Loki asked, and the others were surprised by the venom in his voice. “I knew that the first day I saw her while she was out on one of her midnight walks.”

“The doctors have been monitoring her, but the tests they’ve run are inconclusive,” Tony said.

“Then have them look again, or have someone else look,” Loki snapped. “I’ve only known her for the six weeks that she’s been my guard, and it baffles me that I seem to know that something isn’t right, while you all, _her friends_ , appear to be clueless.”

“She needs to be home, Brother,” Thor told him. “Bring her home.”

“Right now, she’s getting the sleep that she desperately needs. It will be her choice whether or not she comes back here,” Loki replied. “I’ll check back with you in two days. I suggest that you have news for me.”

And with that, the illusion was gone. Tony swore softly under his breath as he turned back toward the elevator.

“Does he have anyone who would allow him to stay with them?” Steve asked Thor as they all followed Tony.

“I cannot imagine _anyone_ in this city having him as a guest,” Thor replied.

“HYDRA, then?”

“It was HYDRA that kidnapped them both,” Bucky said. “Why would he wreck the team that was guarding them, only to go back to their clutches?”

“Jarvis!” Tony called once they were back in the penthouse. “Bring up Lyssa’s MRI!”

The AI quickly brought up the image as requested. Tony studied it for a few minutes.

“Do you know what you’re looking at?” Steve asked him.

“Not a clue,” Tony replied. “Jarvis?”

The AI was silent as it analyzed the scan. “Sir, there is an anomaly that appears to have been missed. Perhaps a second opinion is advisable.”

“Send it to Dr. Banner and Dr. Cho. Let me know the _instant_ they respond.”

“Of course, sir.”

*** ~~~ ***

Once Loki had spoken to Thor and the others, he went back to the bedroom to check on Lyssa. She was asleep, but stirred restlessly. He sat on the side of the bed before reaching out to place his hand on her forehead.

Now was as good a time as any to remove the memory block, and to ease her into a deeper sleep. Once she’d had time to rest, he could then determine whether her issues were a result of the spell, or of something else.

Lyssa’s hand came up to gently grasp his wrist while he reversed the spell, then she sighed softly. Loki kissed the back of her hand before straightening the covers over her and getting up to leave.

“Loki?” She reached for him.

“What is it, Agent?”

“Lyssa,” she corrected him, sleepily. “Could you...stay for just a little while?”

“Of course,” he replied.

Loki laid down beside her, on top of the covers, and Lyssa turned to him to curl up against his chest, with her head tucked under his chin. He hesitantly put his arms around her, drawing her closer.

He stayed that way for several hours, being reluctant to get up and disturb her, but he felt the need to keep guard. Although the owners of the house _were_ away, he wasn’t exactly sure when they would return, and he didn’t want to get caught by surprise.

Lyssa didn’t wake when he finally got up and straightened the covers once again. He looked down at her before reaching out to stroke her cheek with the backs of his fingers.

He still desired her, and knew she felt the same way about him. He wasn’t sure what would come next; only time would tell.

*** ~~~ ***

The next morning, Jarvis relayed a video feed to Tony from Bruce and Dr. Cho about their findings on the MRI. Their diagnosis made it imperative that Lyssa be treated immediately.

Tony gathered the others to let them know what had been found.

“Tumor?” Bucky said, aghast. “Why didn’t the doctors here find that?”

“I don’t know, but I’m firing the lot of them,” Tony replied, angrily.

“So, now what?  We can’t find her or Loki,” Bucky asked.

“He said he would contact us. I wish that we could contact him now.”

***~~~***

Loki went in to check on Lyssa, to find her once again sitting up and looking around, disoriented. She sat cross legged, with her hands picking at the quilt.

“Good morning.”

His voice caused her to jump slightly.

“Hey.”

“How do you feel?”

“Okay.” She shrugged.

“Did you sleep well?” He walked over to the bed, then sat down to study her.

“Not so well,” Lyssa replied, avoiding his gaze. “Strange dreams.”

“Look at me,” Loki told her.

She did so, and he could see that she was troubled, but there wasn’t much improvement in her since he’d removed the spell.

“What is it?” he asked.

Lyssa dropped her gaze to her hands before looking up at him.

“I remember what happened that night,” she murmured. “We didn’t….you didn’t…”

“No,” he replied softly.

“Why?”

Loki took a deep breath, then reached over to put a finger under her chin, bringing her eyes to meet his.

“I wanted to make you fear me, but not in that way,” he replied. “Despite how I treated you in the past, I quite like you.”

Lyssa smiled tiredly at him, then took his hand to press a kiss into his palm.

“Was it the books or brownies?”  

“Neither,” he chuckled. “It was when you nailed me with that stun gun.”

“Oh.” Lyssa stroked the back of his hand idly. “Well, you don’t have to worry about that anymore. I can’t bring myself to do it again. If I’m ever back on duty, they won’t let me near you again.

“Oh, I don’t know. If I become difficult enough, they might reconsider.”

Lyssa couldn’t help but laugh at that. No one had really wanted the job anyway, other than those who thought that a badge and a weapon would intimidate this spoiled space prince. Dealing with Loki was tantamount to dealing with an emotional teenager who had superhuman strength and who could pitch the finest temper tantrums.

“That’s assuming you’re captured or give yourself up.”

“True,” he replied. “Now, are you hungry?”

“Not really,” She responded.

“There’s more of the juice and yogurt.”

“Alright. I’ll try.”

Loki left long enough to get those for her, then watched while she ate. She seemed more tired, but he was now certain that the spell he’d used wasn’t responsible for her situation.

He decided that he would contact Stark a day earlier than he intended, once Lyssa napped again.

***~~~***

“Sir, the gentleman is back,” Jarvis announced to Tony.

“He’s early,” Steve said, while following Tony’s fast pace.

Thor and Bucky were already at the guard desk, but Loki hadn’t spoken to either of them, as he was waiting for Tony.

“How is she?” Tony asked.

“Still tired. She has managed to eat some yogurt,” Loki replied. “Any news for me?”

“Brother, she needs immediate treatment,” Thor told him. “There’s no time to waste.”

“I had Bruce and Dr. Cho look over the MRI again. Apparently there is a tumor that no one else noticed,” Tony told him, reluctantly. “She needs to go to the hospital now so that she can be looked at.”

“Please, Brother,” Thor said.

“How did your doctors manage to miss that?” Again, the venom in Loki’s voice.

“Don’t know, but I’ve fired them,” Tony replied. “She needs help, _now_.”

“Am I to tell her about this tumor?” Loki asked. “You know that will frighten her.”

“I’d rather be the one to tell her,” Tony said. “We just need her _here_.”

“Very well, I will talk to her.”

Loki’s illusion faded, and Tony rubbed his hands over his face with a groan.

“I really hate that guy.”

***~~~***

When Loki checked on Lyssa, she was up and pacing in front of the windows.

“Lyssa?”

His voice stopped her pacing, and when she turned to look at him, he knew instantly that she was upset.

“What is it?” He asked, walking toward her.

“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop,” she whispered, running her fingers through her hair. “I wanted some water.”

“How much did you hear?”

“Enough,” she replied. “I suppose I should go back now.”

“There’s time yet. Come, let’s sit and talk.”

Together, they sat against the headboard of the bed. Lyssa again started picking at the quilt, finding another loose thread to worry with.

“There won’t be any holding that together if you continue to pull them out,” he told her, gently.

Loki could almost _feel_ her fear at what she’d overheard.

“What will you do?” She asked. “Are you taking me back? I could go by myself. I won’t tell them where you’ve been staying.”

“There are a couple of options,” he replied. “I could take you to a hospital and have them call Stark or I could take you back myself.”

“But then they’d capture you again,” Lyssa responded. “I can make it on my own.”

“No. I’ll escort you.”

“Loki, I don’t want to be responsible for your capture. I can’t…” she cut herself off with a sob. “I won’t fight against you, nor against them. For that alone, I could be jailed; and if they knew that I was willing to sleep with you, it would be even worse.”

“I realize that,” he said, quietly. “I should tell you about that night, and it’s my hope that you’ll not be too angry with me.”

“What?”

He was silent for a couple of minutes while he gathered his thoughts.

“I put a memory block on you after you’d fallen asleep. I thought that it would keep the others from knowing how close…” he started. “I meant it as a kindness, since I knew that your duty is important to you.”

“I thought that something was missing,” Lyssa replied. “My memories of that night just cut off at a certain point.”

“I was rather concerned that the trouble you’ve been having was due to the spell, so I reversed it last night. You haven’t improved.”

“Well, then,” Lyssa said, decisively. “Thanks for telling me that, and I appreciate the thought.”

She caught him by surprise when she adjusted her position in order to straddle his lap. She then put her hands on the back of his neck, interlocking her fingers.

“What’s this?” He asked softly.

“You haven’t kissed me once the entire time I’ve been here,” she said. “So, I want to remedy that before I go. Alright?”

He nodded slightly, with a smile tugging at his mouth. Lyssa leaned forward slowly to press her lips against his. Loki allowed her to lead the kiss, until his hand slid into her hair in order to pull her closer.

Lyssa finally pulled away, closing her eyes while she put her forehead to his, while trying to catch her breath.

“I wish things had turned out differently,” she whispered. “I’ve come to realize that I don’t like seeing you caged, despite all the warnings I received before they assigned me to you.”

Loki wiped away a single tear that threaded its way down her cheek.

“You never know, Agent, how things will work out.”

Lyssa cupped his cheek gently, before putting both arms around his neck and burrowing her face into his shoulder.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will the real Bucky please stand up?

Later that afternoon, Lyssa sat nervously on a bench outside a hospital that was near Stark Tower. Loki had put her there while he’d cast an illusion to tell Tony and the others where to find her. She knew that he was still nearby, but had disguised himself, and she fought the urge to meet his eyes one last time. She didn’t want to risk the chance that the others would find him if she accidentally gave him away. 

It had been hard to leave that house, knowing it was likely that she’d never see him again. She’d hidden her tears and hurting heart, not wanting to make him feel like he had to stay with her. She had been truthful: she couldn’t bear seeing him caged again, despite what he had done to the city.

“Lyssa?”

Bucky’s voice brought her out of her musing. He sat down beside her and gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Tony and Thor were right behind him, with Thor looking around at the people that surrounded them.

“He’s gone,” Lyssa told him.

“Are you alright?” He asked.

“Of course,” she sighed. “He didn’t hurt me, if that’s what you want to know. He found me while I was being mugged and got me to safety.”

“Where is he hiding?” Tony asked, then.

“I never saw the outside of the house,” she replied. “Just the bedroom where I stayed.”

Tony, as much as he hated to think it, felt that she might be lying to protect Loki. It was very apparent that she’d developed feelings for him.

“Are you protecting him?” Tony asked her.

“No. I never saw the house, and in any case, he’d be two steps ahead of anyone that tried to find him.”

“Can’t this wait, Tony?” Bucky asked.

“Don’t you have something to tell me?” Lyssa asked.

Tony took a deep breath at that. “I was supposed to tell you, not Loki.”

“I overheard him talking to you this morning; it wasn’t his fault.”

She waited, while Thor continued to look around.  Lyssa felt confident that Loki was long gone, or at least far enough away that he wouldn’t be discovered.

“We have a car waiting, let’s go home so that we can talk,” Tony finally said.

Lyssa nodded, slowly getting to her feet. Bucky put his hand at her waist to keep her steady during the short walk to the car, then helped her get in. The lack of sleep and food was taking its toll; she was very weak, and the others were very concerned.

Once they got underway to the tower, Tony explained about the MRI, and what Bruce and Dr. Cho had found. As he talked, Lyssa became more anxious and her hands began to shake.

“What now?” She asked, in a small voice.

“The doctor advised immediate surgery,” he said, reluctantly. “I’ve flown in the best surgeon, and fired the ones that missed this.”

Lyssa nodded, and looked out the car window while tears slid down her cheeks. Bucky took her hand and squeezed it gently.

“I guess there’s no point in postponing it, is there.” It was a statement, not a question.

***~~~***

“Mr. Stark?”

Lyssa’s surgeon walked into the waiting room where Tony, Thor, Steve and Bucky were waiting impatiently. Tony stood, hoping for the best, but preparing himself for the worse.

“How is she?”

“The surgery went very well, there weren’t any complications. The tumor is benign, but it was large enough to put pressure on the surrounding tissue and affect her personality. It will take time to recover, but I don’t anticipate any further issues.”

“Thank you, Doctor.”  Tony breathed a sigh of relief.

“How long before we can see her?” Bucky asked.

“She’s in recovery right now. She’ll be moved to ICU shortly, then you can go in, but one at a time.”

“Thank you.”

“You bet.”

***~~~***

Bucky was the last one to see Lyssa immediately after surgery. She was still sedated and was deathly pale. An oxygen mask covered her face, and a soft knit cap covered her head, which had been shaved before surgery, and the sight caused his stomach to roil.

He very carefully reached out and took her hand which rested above the covers. His thumb gently caressed the back of it, and he wanted to rub some warmth into her; she was so cold to the touch. Loki’s bracelet still circled her wrist; the hospital staff had been unable to cut it with any type of sharp blade. Since it didn’t contain any metal, they had no choice but to leave it.

“It will be some time before she wakes up,” a nurse told him.  

He nodded in response while he kept his eyes on Lyssa’s face. He stood and straightened the blankets over her before reaching up to stroke her forehead.

“Keep her warm; she doesn’t like the cold.”

Bucky kissed her hand before leaving the room. He didn’t want to leave, but the ICU wouldn’t allow anyone to stay overnight with her. He would come back the next day.

*** *** ***

The next morning, Bucky was sitting beside Lyssa’s bed when she started coming out of the sedation. He and the nurse held her hands down when she tried to pull the oxygen mask off, along with the IV leads.

“Lyssa,” Bucky spoke softly in her ear. “It’s alright. It’s over and you’re going to be okay.”

Lyssa struggled to open her eyes and managed it just long enough to see him.

“Loki.” Her voice was low and hoarse, and muffled by the oxygen mask.

“He’s gone,” Bucky told her.

Lyssa nodded slightly before her eyes closed in sleep. Bucky kissed her forehead, then smoothed her brow with gentle fingers.

He stayed with her until the staff shooed him out. It would take several more hours before Lyssa woke fully, and he wanted to be there.

Later that afternoon, Lyssa woke briefly to find Bucky sitting with her again.

“Loki.” Her voice startled him just as he was beginning to nod off.

“He’s safe,” Bucky murmured, close to her ear. “Don’t worry, he’s alright.”

She slept again, and he could see that she had relaxed more; her expression had smoothed out, and her breathing was less labored. The nurse had told him that once she was fully awake, she would start feeling discomfort from the surgery and could become combative, so he should prepare himself for that.

*** *** ***

The next day, Bucky was again at her side. This time, when he took her hand, she jumped slightly, then opened her eyes to look at him.

“Hey, grandpa,” she whispered.

“Hey, yourself,” he replied. “I will get you for that once you’re out of here.”

Lyssa smiled weakly and swallowed hard. “Water?”

“How about ice chips instead,” Bucky said, as the nurse handed him the cup and spoon.

The nurse took the oxygen mask off so that he could feed her a few pieces of ice. She was almost asleep by the time she’d had enough. Bucky put the cup aside then took her hand in order to gently caress her fingers. He stared at the veins that were visible on the back of it; her skin was almost translucent and she looked incredibly frail.

“Bucky,” Lyssa whispered. “Loki?”

“As far as I know, he’s alright,” Bucky replied. “You don't have to worry about him, okay?  You need to concentrate on getting yourself well.”

She took a deep breath before closing her eyes, after the nurse had put the oxygen mask back on her. Lyssa was given her pain medication then, and Bucky waited until she was asleep before leaving the room.

It wasn’t long before he returned, surprising the nurse.

“Did you forget something?” She asked.

“No, I just grabbed a quick bite to eat and made a phone call. Is it okay to stay a bit longer?”

“Sure. The doctor will be coming by in an hour; you may have to step out for a little while so that he can examine her.”

Bucky nodded and moved the chair back to the bedside before sitting and taking her hand.

“She has good friends,” the nurse commented.

“She does. We all love her,” Bucky replied, while gently rubbing Lyssa’s fingers.

The nurse moved quietly around the bed, checking the machines and making notes on Lyssa’s chart. Just a she sat down at the station to update the files she’d been working on, Lyssa suddenly gave a twitch and let out a pain-filled groan.

Bucky held onto her hand, trying to soothe her, but she writhed before reaching for her head. Again, Bucky helped the nurse to hold her hands to prevent her from yanking out any IVs or touching her head, which was still swathed in a bandage and a knit cap.

“It’s alright,” Bucky murmured. “Keep still.”

Lyssa fought to get her hands free, threatening to hurt herself. Her breath came in soft gasps of pain even as tears began to course down her cheeks. Another nurse came in to help, and Lyssa was given another dose of medication.

She relaxed slowly, her breathing still uneven. Bucky gently wiped her face, taking the opportunity to stroke her cheek. He couldn’t stand seeing her like this, and it would take some time for her to recover fully.

“Sergeant, the doctor will be in shortly, why don’t you go get some rest?”

“Alright, I think coffee might hit the spot.”

Bucky kissed Lyssa’s fingers before leaving the room.

About an hour later, Tony, Steve and Thor met up with him in the ICU waiting room.

“How is she?” Thor asked.

“In pain, but they’ve given her something for it. She’s asked for Loki several times.”

Tony scowled while Thor and Bucky glanced at each other, with Steve noticing.

“What is it?” He asked.

“If he comes here, he can shape-shift into anyone, and we’ll never know,” Thor replied. “I can tell that she’s come to care for him, and maybe he feels the same, at least to a certain degree. He certainly didn’t give her as much trouble as he did the other guards before she took over.”

“He’s always giving someone trouble,” Tony replied.

“I said he didn’t give her as  _ much _ trouble,” Thor said. “Things could have been much worse.”

“Why are you out here?” Steve asked Bucky.

“The doctor is in with her, so they sent me out. I’ve been here most of the day, why don’t you guys stay and visit. I’m going to get something to eat, and will be back later.”

About an hour later, Bucky joined the others in the waiting room. Tony had gone back to sit with Lyssa, leaving Steve and Thor by themselves. He’d just sat down, when Lyssa’s morning nurse came out at the end of her shift.

“You didn’t stay gone long, did you get any rest?” She asked him.

Bucky didn’t know how to respond to that; he’d left just before lunch to get something to eat and took a nap before coming back to the hospital. Thor and Steve both jumped up, alarmed, as it finally dawned on them that Loki had been there at least twice already.

When Tony came out to join them, he was livid at the thought that Loki had been there, with no one the wiser.

“Isn’t there anyway at all that we can spot him?” He asked Thor.

“No,” Thor replied.

“What if we move her to the medical suite at the tower?” Steve asked. “Would he be foolish enough to try to get to her there?”

“Loki’s no fool, but he is very good at hiding in plain sight. We probably shouldn’t risk moving her right now, anyway. He’s not going to hurt her.”

“How can you be so sure?” Tony grumbled.

“He’s had plenty of opportunities to do that,” Thor replied. “He didn’t have to take her to that hospital and contact us with her location.”

“Alright, but as soon as she’s able to withstand the trip, I’m having her moved.”


	10. Chapter 10

By the third day, Lyssa had started staying awake for longer periods of time, although her pain level remained high. The nurses had gotten her up in order to have her sit in a chair for an hour or so.

She would occasionally raise her hand to touch the bandage that swathed her head. Her head still hurt, but it was a different type of pain. She was discouraged from touching the bandage to prevent her from removing it.

Today the bandage was due to be changed. Lyssa sat quietly while the nurse worked. When her head was bare, she asked for a mirror, but the nurse gently told her that she should wait for a few more days.

Lyssa then felt the stubble of the hair that had started to grow back. She fought not to cry, knowing that she must look hideous.

“There. You’re all set.”

Lyssa straightened the knit cap, then laid back against her pillow. Just that small amount of effort had exhausted her.

“Do you think you could eat something?” The nurse asked.

“Not right now.”

Just then, the door to her room opened, and Bucky peeked in.

“Okay to come in?”

Lyssa smiled tiredly at him when he came over to the side of the bed. He squeezed her hand gently.

“I brought some yogurt for you,” Bucky told her, showing her a bag.

“I’m not really hungry.”

“It’s black cherry. It’s hard to find, but I know that you like it.”

At those words, Lyssa slowly turned her head to look at him intensely.  Her heart began to race, which set off the monitor. She glanced frantically at the nurse who’d come over to check on her.

“Never known anyone to get this excited over yogurt,” she teased with a smile.

“It’s hard to find,” Lyssa murmured, keeping her gaze on her hands, lest she give him away.

“You can have it if you want.”

“Thank you.”

Once the nurse moved away, Bucky sat on the side of the bed, then leaned close to brush his lips against her cheek.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Lyssa whispered, very quietly.

“Don’t worry,” he whispered back.  

Lyssa kissed his cheek before he sat back and opened the yogurt for her. She was able to eat most of it, which pleased the nurse. After she finished, she took his hand and held it while lightly stroking his wrist.

“I see that you’re sitting up. How do you feel?” He asked her.

“Weak,” she replied.

“That’s to be expected, hmmm?” He responded.

“Yeah, but I don’t have to like it,” she grouched.

He grinned at that, causing her to give him a wry smile. Lyssa raised his hand to press a kiss into his palm, then held it to her cheek.

“I have to go now,” he finally told her, after being there for close to an hour. “The others are coming.”

She nodded, as fear enveloped her. She didn’t want him to get caught, and if Thor or any of the others cornered him, things could get ugly.

Loki leaned over to kiss her cheek again.

“Please don’t take another risk,” she whispered. “Please. I couldn’t stand it if…”

“Everything will be alright,” he assured her.

She reluctantly let go of his hand while struggling to keep her emotions in check. Loki stood and tossed the empty yogurt cup into the trash. He smiled at her again before slipping out the door.

“You’ll be moved to a regular room soon, if you keep doing well,” the nurse told her. “Then your friends can stay longer.”

“That would be nice,” Lyssa replied. “Is it time for my medicine now?”

***~~~***

Two days later, Lyssa was moved from ICU to a medical suite at Stark Tower. She’d been sedated so that she would sleep during the trip and not be stressed.

When she woke up, she looked around the unfamiliar room, trying to get her bearings.

“Welcome home, Ms. McAlister.” Jarvis’s voice startled her, causing her to jump.

“Jarvis? Where am I?”

“Mr. Stark has brought you home. You’re in the medical suite at the tower.”

“Oh.”  Lyssa nervously smoothed the blanket on her bed.

“I’ve alerted the medical staff that you’re awake, and also have let Mr. Stark and Thor know. They’re attending to something and will be down shortly to visit with you.”

“Is Bucky here?”

“He and Captain Rogers are on a short trip, and will be back tomorrow.”

“Thank you.”

Lyssa adjusted her bed so that she was more upright, and then found something to watch on TV. She was about to drift off when a nurse came in to check on her, and to administer her medicines.

“Are you hungry?”

Lyssa shook her head. “I wouldn’t say no to some juice, though.”

“Coming right up.”

After a few minutes, Tony and Thor came in. Thor had her juice, and gave it to her, after opening the bottle.

“Thanks.”  She sipped on it, while they both studied her in silence. “What?”

“Nothing,” Tony replied. “How do you feel?”

“Weak,” she replied. It was the same answer she’d given for days.

“You’ll be allowed up soon, so that you can start walking in order to get your strength back,” Thor told her.

“Oh, fun,” she replied, sarcastically, but with a grin.

He grinned back at her with a wink. “Are you ready for food now?”

Lyssa shook her head before taking another drink of her juice. Tony still regarded her silently.

“Boss?”

“Nothing, Agent. I’m just glad to see that you’re improving,” Tony replied.

Lyssa nodded, still thinking that something was bothering him. It made her uneasy, and she thought of the worse case scenario: that he knew Loki had come to the hospital to see her.

She didn’t say anything more, just gave a tired sigh as the medicine started taking effect. She drifted off to sleep while they were still there. Before they left, Thor reached out to give her hand a squeeze.

***~~~***

The next day, Lyssa’s bandage was due to be changed. The doctor looked at the incision and determined that the stitches could be removed. She sat still while he and the nurse snipped the knots and pulled the thread out.

At first, it didn’t hurt as there was just a tiny stinging sensation, but as the work progressed, Lyssa became more uncomfortable. She began to twitch as each stitch was removed, and she wanted to just have them stop.

“We’re almost done,” the nurse assured her.

“Alright,” Lyssa replied, near tears.

Once all the stitches had been dealt with, the nurse put some ointment on the incision before bandaging her head again. The bandages weren’t as thick as the previous ones. Then her IV was removed, but the port was left, in case it was needed later.

“It itches now,” Lyssa told them.

“No scratching,” the doctor told her.

_It’s gonna be hard not to do that._ Lyssa thought to herself.

The doctor and nurse left her sitting in a chair close to the windows so that she could enjoy the view. She sat in the warm sun, occasionally reaching up to rub at an itch before putting her hand down when she realized what she was doing.

She was a bit restless, wanting to get outside, go somewhere or just _do_ something.

“So bored. So bored,” she muttered.

She started to get up on her own, but a voice startled her.

“Hey, hold up. I’ll help you.”

Bucky and Steve had just entered the room, and Bucky quickly strode to her side. Lyssa wasn’t sure whether this was Bucky or Loki, so she decided to play it safe.

“Sure you’re up to it, grandpa?”

“That’s two I owe you,” Bucky replied, with a grin.

Lyssa laughed softly, while leaning on him as he helped her back to the bed. Once she was settled, he helped to straighten the covers over her, then sat on the bed.

“How are you feeling?” Steve asked, then.

“Weak, tired and bored out of my skull,” she replied. “And my hair is probably not going to grow right ever again.”

“I’m sure it will be fine,” Bucky replied. “Maybe it’ll grow back white, then you can be the bride of Frankenstein at Halloween.”

“You’re not helping,” Lyssa growled, punching his arm. “Wait until I get my stun guns back. I will need a live target for practice. You’ve just been volunteered.”

“Ouch,” Bucky replied with a grin.

“I’ve got to check in with Tony,” Steve told her. “We came straight here when we got back.”

“Okay. Thanks for coming by,” Lyssa replied.

“I’ll be back in just a little while,” Bucky said. “Need to shower and change.”

Lyssa nodded while Bucky took her hand and squeezed it before getting up to leave. Once she was alone, Lyssa rubbed at her head again, desperately needing to scratch.

She got up slowly to get to the bathroom, wanting to do it on her own. Once there, she closed and locked the door. While washing her hands, she studied herself in the mirror, and didn’t like what she saw. At the sight of her pale skin, she became nauseous.

Lyssa wet a washcloth and wiped her face and neck, then pulled the knit cap off so that she wouldn’t get it wet. She wanted to wipe around the bandage to try to ease the itching, but it came off as well.

She almost screamed at the sight of the incision that nearly circled her entire scalp. She did clamp a hand over her mouth as she slid to the floor, her back against the bathtub. Lyssa buried her face into her hands and sobbed softly.

A knock at the door startled her but she ignored it and Bucky’s voice. Then there was activity outside as he worked to unlock it. Finally, he got it opened and stepped in.

“No, no,” Lyssa tried to cover her head with her arms. “Don’t look….”

“Shhh,” he soothed her as he bent down to scoop her up into his arms. “It’s alright.”

“It’s not alright!” She buried her face into the side of his neck as he carried her back to bed.

She refused to look at him while the nurse put a fresh bandage on her, then a fresh knit cap.

“I didn’t mean to pull it off, it came off while I was washing up a bit,” Lyssa told her, softly.

“It’s alright. You can shower, but please let us know so that we can help you. You mustn’t fall.”

Lyssa nodded, then took the medicine that she was given before closing her eyes tiredly. Bucky sat beside her, and took her hand.

“I look awful,” Lyssa whispered, tears brimming her eyes again.

“To be perfectly honest, you look much better than you did right after surgery,” he told her. “It will take time to get your color back and your hair has already started growing.”

Lyssa shook her head, and swiped at the tears.

“I wouldn’t lie to you,” he said. “You’re okay now, you just have to recover.”

He sat with her until she went to sleep, then moved to the chair in order to keep her company and to make sure that she didn’t get up without help again.


	11. Chapter 11

Loki turned toward the door when it opened, facing Thor and Tony. He gave them an insincere smile.

“You still haven’t told her, have you?” He asked.

“She has other things to worry about,” Tony replied. “She doesn’t need to know you’re here.”

“I’m sure she would think otherwise,” Loki replied.

Tony glared at him, knowing that he was right. He still couldn’t understand why Loki would willingly walk right back to his prison, especially when they had little chance of even finding him. He’d shown up the day that Lyssa had been moved back to the tower, just casually walking in as if he owned the place.

“I still don’t get why you would come back.” Tony shook his head in exasperation.

“Nowhere to go, no people to see,” Loki shrugged. “With no means to leave this planet, I realized it would be well worth my time to aggravate you two.”

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose, while Thor simply studied his brother. Loki returned his gaze, with a half-smile.

“I highly recommend that you tell her,” Loki told them.

Tony rolled his eyes as he turned toward the door. “She will not be allowed near you again, especially while she’s vulnerable.”

“Oh, we’ll see about that,” Loki replied, with a laugh.

***~~~***

Lyssa’s nurse was beside her while she walked down the hall. She had walked the length twice already and was heading back toward her room. She was tired, but in a good way, although she was still weak.

As they approached the nurses’ station, she could hear some of the conversation they were having.

“Did you hear that the guy just walked back in here and gave himself up?”

“Who?”

“Thor’s brother.”

Lyssa’s attention was immediately snared, and she paused at the station.

“You’re talking about Loki. Right?” She asked, ignoring the attempts of her present companion to get her back to her room.

They all looked at each other, knowing that they’d royally screwed up; they’d been warned not to discuss Loki in front of Lyssa. Now she knew he was back, and that didn’t bode well for any of them.

“How long has he been back?” She demanded, when she got no answer. “Let’s go.”

If she hadn’t been so weak, she would have stormed off, but as it was, she could only shuffle away while shedding angry tears. The nurse helped get her settled in bed, then left.

“Jarvis?” She called out, once she’d calmed down a bit. “Please tell the Boss that I’d like to see him.”

“Right away, Ms. McAlister.” The AI replied.

Tony and Thor both came to her room, seeing as Jarvis had likely warned them. From the look on Tony’s face, he was in a firing mood.

“How long has he been back?” Lyssa asked, angrily.

“Who?” Tony asked.

“You know who!” She snapped. “I want to see him.”

“Oh, that’s out of the question,” Tony replied.

“You either bring him here, or take me to him,” Lyssa said furiously.

“No,” Thor replied. “It’s really not a good idea.”

While they were at an impasse, the nurse brought in Lyssa’s lunch tray in. They were all silent until she left, after she’d rolled the tray table over to Lyssa.

“You should eat — “ Tony started to say, but was interrupted when Lyssa swiped the food tray onto the floor.

She glared at him when he raised his eyebrows in surprise. Thor was rather stunned, but kept his expression neutral.

“You’re not changing my mind,” Tony told her.

*** ~~~ ***

Three days later, Loki was surprised with a visit from Tony, who looked extremely pissed.

“I hope you’re happy,” Tony told him, sarcastically.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” Loki replied.

Just then, Bucky carried Lyssa in, with Thor behind him. She’d refused a wheelchair, insisting that she would walk, but her legs gave out before she could finish the trip.

Bucky stood her next to a chair at the dinner table, then gave Loki a glare before he walked out without a word. Loki remained where he was while a cart with two covered dishes on it was pushed in.

The food was placed on the table, and Lyssa turned to face Tony and Thor.

“You’re excused.”

Loki fought to keep a smile off his face, and failed. Tony glared at him, but turned and left. Thor gave Loki a warning look before he left, too.

Loki walked over to Lyssa, who then put her arms around his waist and hugged him. He embraced her gently, then set her back to look at her.

“Here, sit down,” he said, helping her to sit. “How did you convince them to let you come here?”

“I went on a hunger strike,” she said, with a shrug. “Three days ago.”

“You did what?” He asked, sharply.

“You heard me,” she replied, giving him a smile. “Let’s eat before it gets cold.”

Loki uncovered the dishes, then pushed a plate toward Lyssa, while pulling his toward him.

“Why?” She asked him, as she began to eat.

“Why what?”

“Why did you come back?” She replied. “You were free, and there was no way that they could have found you.”

“Boredom, mostly,” he replied. “I rather enjoy antagonizing Thor and Stark.”

“Oh.” Lyssa looked down at her plate. That wasn’t what she expected to hear.

“What is it?” He asked, watching her.

“Nothing.” She shrugged, before pushing her plate toward him. “I’m done with that, if you want it.”

“Have I said something wrong?”

“Of course not,” she said, rubbing her temple. “It seems that I’ve read too much into that ‘I quite like you’ statement. I guess all that kissing gave me the wrong idea.”

Lyssa drank the remainder of the juice in her glass, then adjusted the knit cap she wore.

“I never intended…” he started to say.

“I apologize,” she murmured, interrupting him. “Apparently I am stupid and foolish after all. You must have gotten a good laugh at that.”

“Lyssa — “

“Jarvis, please tell Sergeant Barnes that I’m ready to go back to my room,” Lyssa told the AI.

The door to the suite opened almost immediately, and she realized that Bucky must have been waiting outside, in case there was trouble. Jarvis could also have warned him.

Lyssa got up from the table to meet Bucky halfway.

“What’s wrong?” Bucky asked.

“Nothing, I’m just tired all of a sudden,” she replied, taking his arm without looking back at Loki.

Bucky gave the Asgardian a curious but angry look. Loki had stood when Lyssa did, and his expression was inscrutable.

Once Bucky and Lyssa were in the hall, Loki’s door closed automatically. Lyssa then sagged against Bucky, thoroughly exhausted. Bucky scooped her up, and her arms went around his shoulders.

She didn’t speak during the trip back to her hospital room, nor when he deposited her onto her bed. She pulled the covers up, then rubbed her arm where the IV port was still taped to her skin. She pulled the tape off, then yanked the port out before Bucky could stop her.

“Please find out when I can go back to my apartment,” she requested, while applying pressure to the puncture wound where the IV had been.

“Alright, I’ll be right back,” he told her. “You stay right there until I get back. Jarvis, please tell me if she gets out of bed.”

“Of course, sir,” Jarvis replied.

Bucky was gone for about ten minutes, during which time Lyssa held tight control of her emotions. She wanted so badly to cry, or scream, or just beat the living daylights out of Loki.

She’d been warned about him, but had developed feelings for him anyway. He might never have known that if HYDRA hadn’t kidnapped them both.

She could have lived without his knowing.

“Jarvis, please let the nurse know that I’m ready for my meds now.”

***~~~***

After a couple more days, Lyssa was released from the hospital and went back to her apartment. She threw away two plants that had died during her absence, along with spoiled food in the fridge.

She was to start therapy the next day, then once she was recovered enough, there would be a hearing on Loki’s kidnapping and subsequent escape. Lyssa knew that she’d also be questioned about the night she’d spent with him in the borrowed house.

She wasn’t looking forward to any of it, now that she remembered how close she’d come to compromising herself by sleeping with Loki. She couldn’t control the tears that flowed whenever she thought about him.

_So stupid. So foolish,_ she’d tell herself.

She didn’t know if she would ever be trusted again, regardless of the outcome of the hearing. Maybe she should just tender her resignation and get as far away from Stark Tower and Loki as she could.

A knock on the door made her quickly wipe the tears away before she answered it.

“Thor?”

“I wanted to check on you,” Thor said. “May I come in?”

“Sure.” Lyssa stepped aside to let him in. “I don’t have anything to offer by way of food or drinks. I’ve had to throw away some stuff, and haven’t ordered grocery delivery yet.”

Thor watched as she nervously flitted about, straightening a book here, and a cushion there. 

“Lyssa, come sit down,” he said, patting a spot on the sofa beside him.

“If you’re here to talk about _him_ , I don’t want to hear it,” she warned him.

“He’s asked about you,” Thor told her, quietly.

“Please don’t.” Lyssa scooted away from him and turned her face away. “I don’t want to hear anything about him.”

“I know that’s not true,” he responded, gently.

“I don’t understand. You’re the one who warned me about him. Now you tell me that he’s asked about me,” Lyssa replied, finally looking at him. “Am I supposed to be flattered? Or to run back to him like some giddy school girl, because he told me that he quite likes me? What the hell does that even mean?”

Thor was disconcerted when she burst into tears. He moved closer to her, then lifted her effortlessly to bring her onto his lap. She tried to push his arms away so that she could escape him but he held her firmly until she stopped struggling.

“He’s good, he’s very good at lying,” she sobbed. “I feel so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid,” he replied. “I believe that he has developed feelings for you, too, although he will avoid letting that show.”

“I thought he had, too, but he said he only came back here so that he could antagonize you and Tony.”

She didn’t see Thor’s grin at that.  “That is likely very true, but probably not the _whole_ truth.”

Lyssa shook her head. “I don’t care anymore. I have therapy for the next ten weeks, and he will get a new team to guard him. I won’t be doing it anymore, provided that I don’t go to jail once the hearing is complete.”

“If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t be so upset,” Thor replied.

“I’m hurt, and that’s a big difference,” she retorted, unconvincingly. “I’m not going to give him the chance to do it again.”

Thor sighed and rubbed her back. “Should I tell him how you’re doing?”

“Tell him whatever you like,” she replied. “It’s time for my meds, and I’d like to lie down now.”

“Alright,” Thor stood up and set her gently on her feet. “Be sure that you eat properly. Stark has threatened to admit you back to the hospital if you don’t start taking care of yourself.”

Lyssa gave an unladylike snort at that. “Just let him try.”


	12. Chapter 12

The next morning, Bucky came to her apartment to walk with her to her therapy session.

“Did you eat breakfast?” He asked, wanting to be sure that she didn’t faint from hunger.

“I didn’t have much of an appetite, but I did eat some toast and scrambled eggs, and a cup of yogurt,” she replied. “If I get hungry, I’ll take a break and get something.”

“That’ll do for now,” he told her. “Did you really throw green jello on Tony during your hunger strike?”

“Yep,” she said, then laughed. “You should have seen his and Thor’s faces. Priceless.”

Bucky couldn’t help but chuckle at her glee, but then she got quiet.

“I should have saved that for when I need a pay raise, rather than wasting it on that ass.”

He wasn’t sure what to say to that, so they just walked in silence to the gym. The therapist waited there, speaking to Tony. They turned as Lyssa and Bucky walked up to them.

“Don’t ask me if I’ve eaten,” Lyssa warned him.

Tony put his hands up in surrender. “Alright, I won’t. Have a good session.”

He left to join Thor, who had stepped into the gym. They spoke quietly together, then left.

“We’ll go easy today in order to build your stamina back up,” the therapist, Jensen, told her. “I just want you to jog around the track at an easy pace. You can alternate between walking and jogging if you need to.”

“Alright,” Lyssa replied. “You gonna keep me company, grandpa?”

“Now you’re just pushing it,” Bucky replied, trying to look stern.

She grinned at him and bumped her shoulder against him. “C’mon.”

Together they started jogging around the track that circled the exercise room. Bucky stayed beside her, walking when she did.

“Don’t push too hard,” he told her, when she started doing short sprints.

“I'm okay,” she replied, panting from the exertion. “Just need to get my breath built back up.”

While she concentrated on her work out, Lyssa didn’t notice that Loki’s new guards had brought him in to exercise. He’d been wound tighter than a spring, and they were hoping that he’d work off some excess energy.

Loki saw her right away, and paused before going to the treadmill, after deciding not to use the track to run. He was able to see her and the soldier, and would occasionally glance up to watch her.

He noticed that she was still thin, and pale, and had a bright kerchief on her head. He wasn’t sure if she should be exercising like this so soon, but she seemed to be holding up alright.

After a couple of laps, he saw that Bucky was actually running backwards as Lyssa’s pace slowed. He was teasing her, making her chase him while they completed the lap. Then the therapist called a halt, seeing that she was exhausted.

“That’s enough for today,” Jensen told her, handing her a bottle of water. “You can’t get fit in just one session.”

“Too...tired..to argue,” Lyssa gasped, while wiping her face with a towel.

“Walk one lap and cool down.”

Bucky walked with her until her breathing was normal.

“When I get better, I'm going to smoke you,” she told Bucky.    

“I look forward to it,” he grinned, slinging an arm across her shoulders.

She laughed breathlessly, and put an arm around his back, hugging him to her.

“Now, believe it or not, I’m getting hungry,” she told him.

“That’s good,” Bucky replied.

“Wanna come to my apartment in a little while for sandwiches or something? I’ve had groceries delivered.”

“Sure.”

Together, they left the gym, with Bucky escorting her to her apartment before going to shower and change. Neither of them had noticed Loki’s fuming glare as they left together.

Once Bucky left her alone, Lyssa sat on her bed and cried. She’d seen Loki on the treadmill, and had done her best to ignore him. It had been so hard to stay and finish her exercise, knowing that he was there and watching her.

She finally got a grip on herself and went to shower. It felt funny using shampoo on her head, now that her hair was just stubble, and it was another source of depressing circumstances that she’d have to deal with.

After she’d showered and dressed, she started slicing tomatoes and lettuce for sandwiches, then set out the bread and condiments. It wasn’t too long before Bucky knocked on her door.

“You smell nice,” she remarked. “New cologne?”

“Natasha found it for me,” he replied. “Personally, I find it a bit overwhelming.”

“No, I like it,” she told him, motioning for him to sit at the bar while she toasted bread for sandwiches. “How many will you eat?”

“Start with two.”

Lyssa put the bread on a plate and made his sandwiches, with lots of everything. She’d seen him eat, and knew he could eat quite a lot. She made one sandwich for herself, then opened a bag of chips. Once she sat down, Bucky passed a bottled water to her.

“Thanks.”

They ate in silence for a few minutes, until Bucky turned to her to say something.

“I saw him, there’s no need to point it out,” she said, cutting him off.

“Thor said he’s been asking about you,” Bucky commented quietly.

“That’s nice of him,” she retorted, while smashing a chip to pieces with a fingertip. “Bucky, I really, _really_ don’t want to talk about him. I’ve got other things on my mind.”

“Alright, then,” Bucky replied, turning his attention back to his food. “You feel okay after that run?”

“Yeah, just tired, as usual,” she said, finishing her sandwich. “Want another one?”

“No, thanks. We’re grilling steaks later today. You’re invited.”

“Sounds good.”

***~~~***

Over the course of the next three months, Lyssa continued her recovery and workouts, which included weightlifting along with martial arts, until she was nearly at the same level of fitness as before her surgery.

Loki would sometimes be in the gym at the same time, and she’d steadfastly ignore him. He’d quietly observe her, noting her improvement. He’d hoped to talk to her, but she would avoid him if he came too close, and his tablet would no longer dial her apartment.

He had no way of knowing how hard she cried each time once she was alone, but he did know how much he missed having her escort him when he was taken from his suite/cell/prison.

He hated to admit it to himself, but he realized that he’d made a mistake by refusing to recognize how deeply he cared about Lyssa, and by not letting her know. He was still confined, but had a path to gaining freedom by proving that he could be trusted and that he could eventually work with his brother and the team.

Loki hoped that once he was free from restrictions, he would be able to talk to her.

Thor would occasionally tell him tidbits about what was going on with her. She’d had regular follow ups with her doctor, and been given the green light to return to duty.

Then there was the hearing regarding her actions the day that she and Loki had been taken from the tower. She’d been questioned thoroughly about that, and about the night she’d spent at the borrowed house.

Luckily, she wasn’t questioned too intensely about whether she had feelings for Loki, which was a great relief to her.

The blame for her error was placed on her history of migraines, and the fact that the tumor could have caused her misjudgment. She received six months’ probation, which included no contact with Loki during that time.

Then, one day, Lyssa was in the conference room when he was escorted to yet another meeting, which he had no interest in whatsoever. She was crouched beside Tony’s chair while they talked quietly.

As the others started filing in, she got up and moved out of the way. Once everyone was seated, she passed out coffee, juice or water, then moved around the table, offering brownies or cookies.

Loki silently took a brownie, and she moved on to the next person, before putting the pastry box in the middle of the table.  She returned to Tony’s side afterwards and waited.

“You’re excused, Agent, thank you,” he told her.  

“Thanks, Boss,” she murmured, then left the room.

Nothing was said for a long time, with everyone waiting to see what Loki’s reaction would be. He felt their gazes on him, which irritated him immensely.

“Could we get on with it?” He snapped.

After that meeting, he hadn’t seen her again. She no longer came to the gym, and her apartment listing disappeared from the Tower’s directory. His new guards wouldn’t tell him anything about her, and he hesitated to ask Thor, but he finally gave in one day.

“Where’s Lyssa?”

Thor glanced at him in surprise, as Loki had not asked about her in several weeks.

“She’s gone to another facility for some additional training,” Thor replied.

“Will she be back?”

“Not sure.”

Loki wasn’t happy with that answer, but there wasn’t much that he could do about it. This put him on edge, and in turn, made his guards very nervous.

*** ~~~ ***

It was sixth months later that Loki was allowed to go on a mission with the others. It was more of a test than anything, but he was glad to get away from his confinement.

“Alright, the quinjet is on the way, wheels up in ten.”

Steve briefed the team, then they quickly gathered their gear. Loki was to stay on the jet with the pilot unless he was needed. He wasn’t happy with that arrangement, but it _was_ time away from the tower and his guards.

The quinjet arrived and hovered against the landing pad. It was turned facing outwards so that the loading ramp could be deployed. Once the team was onboard, the ramp was raised and locked.

Steve went to the cockpit to set the course himself, and the pilot slid into the copilot’s seat.

“You can go back and say hello,” he said, very quietly.

“I will in a minute, I want to make sure you don’t wreck my plane, seeing as I signed it out,” Lyssa replied, in a teasing voice.

“I’m sure I can manage, and Tony won’t make you pay for it.”

“I certainly hope not,” she said.

After a couple of minutes, she got up and walked into the passenger compartment.

“Gentlemen, and lady, she said, with a grin at Natasha. “Just a safety reminder, in case of a water landing, your seat cushions double as flotation devices. Or they would, if you had them.”

Everyone laughed, and Bucky got up to hug her, then Thor. Loki watched in silence, his gaze moving over her from head to toe. She looked much better, and her hair had grown, although it was still very short.

She wore the SHIELD uniform, and had a gun belt with two pistols buckled around her waist. Loki surmised that she probably had other weapons that weren’t visible.

“Let’s see,” Bucky said, taking the ball cap off her head. “Sweet!”

She did have patches of gray hair that had grown out near the incision on her scalp, and she’d decided to keep it that way. She was a bit self conscious about the length still, and put her hat back on once she snagged it from Bucky.

“Please make sure you stow or secure your gear in case of turbulence, and yes, Clint, I’m talking to you.”

Clint grinned and made a show of putting his bag away, then holding up his hands.

“You sure are bossy,” he replied.

“My jet, my rules,” she shrugged. “I’m captain here, after Captain Rogers.”

Loki caught her attention then. They stared at each other in silence for a minute of two.

“Hello, Loki,” she said.

“Lyssa,” he replied. “You’re looking well.”

“Thanks, l feel much better,” Lyssa replied, “Clint, stow that gear.”

“Aye, aye, Captain.”

Once Lyssa had taken her seat in the cockpit, Tony nudged Thor’s arm.

“Brrr,” he muttered, catching a glare from Loki.

After a couple of hours, they reached their target area. Lyssa landed the jet in a clearing, letting the team out before taking off again to hover for air support. Loki remained in the hold, unsure what to do.

“Loki,” Lyssa called over her shoulder. “Come up here and buckle in.”

He did so, and once he’d fastened the seatbelts, she closed the cockpit door.

“Just in case someone, namely Clint, didn’t put their gear away like I asked,” she commented, without looking at him, while she flicked a few switches here & there. “You can wear that headset, if you want.”

“What we waiting on?” He asked, while adjusting the headset.

“Explosions,” she replied. “Or gunfire.”

Lyssa circled the building where SHIELD had found a HYDRA installation at a cruising altitude so that she could watch for any enemy movement. She scanned the ground and her instruments, her eyes always moving.

“Captain, there’s a machine gun nest at your eleven o’clock. Hold your position while I clear it,” she reported to Steve.

“Affirmative,” Steve replied.

Lyssa fired an RPG at the nest, then circled back around to make sure that it had been dealt with.

“All clear,” she told Steve. “You know, guys, it’s really not cool to drag Loki along and not let him join in on the fun.”

Loki looked at her, rather surprised, but she was concentrating on her job.

“Oops.”

Lyssa banked the jet in order to blast a sniper that had fired on her; she found another one and took him out, too.

“Seems to me that you’re the one having all the fun,” Bucky replied, dryly.

“Just covering your asses.”

“Language!” Tony said.

“Yes, Boss,” she laughed.

“We have company, Loki,” Lyssa told him suddenly. “Hold on.”

Another jet approached the fight, and engaged the quinjet. It pursued Lyssa as she drew it away from the team. The jet was right on her tail when she pulled the nose up, then put the brakes on. Something in the hold hit the cockpit door when she did so. The other jet flew right beneath hers, then she had it in her sights and blew it out of the sky.

“Easy peasy,” She said. “And that was probably Clint’s bag that hit the door.”

“You’ve changed,” Loki commented, while gripping the arm rests hard.

“For the better, I hope,” she replied.

“I'm...not sure yet,” he responded.

Lyssa continued to fly the quinjet in a circle over the facility, but the fight was practically over. The team only had to clear it and take prisoners if they could.

It was another hour before she got the all clear to land. She and Loki waited on the jet, keeping guard on it, until the team had finished their task.

“Is everyone alright?” She asked as they boarded one at a time. “No injuries?”

“No, we’re all fine,” Bucky replied, sinking into his seat.

Lyssa went to a drawer and started doling out water bottles, which were accepted gratefully.

“Take us home, Agent,” Steve told her. “You know the way.”

“Aye, Cap’n.”


	13. Chapter 13

When they reached the tower, Lyssa carefully set the quinjet down on the landing pad, once again pointing it nose outward. She lowered the ramp before cutting the engines.

“Clint!”

Her voice made him turn, and he gave an over exaggerated yelp of pain when she grabbed his earlobe.

“You didn’t stow all your gear like I asked you to,” she told him. “You’ll walk next time.”

“Okay, okay, let go. I’m sorry.”

She laughed and let go. “Get off my plane.”

Once they’d all left, she did a run through, making sure that all systems were off, and that the weapons drawers were locked. She’d forgotten that Loki was still in the copilot’s seat, watching her.

When she turned to lock the cockpit door, she realized that he was still there.

“Oh, hey,” she said. “Are you staying on board?”

“No, just not in a rush to go inside,” Loki replied, getting up.

“Oh.” Lyssa moved aside to let him pass. “Did you have a bag or anything?”

“No,” he responded.

“Alright, let’s go then,” she said. “I’m a bit hungry.”

Loki followed her down the ramp, which then closed behind them.

“You flew very well,” Loki commented, coming up beside her.

“Thank you,” she replied, glancing at him.

They walked together to join the others in the kitchen, where sandwiches were being made. 

“How long are you staying?” Bucky asked Lyssa when she joined them at the table.

“I have a few days before I have to return the jet to base,” she replied, with a shrug.

“Your old room still has your things,” Tony told her.

“Nice,” she said, nodding.

After eating, everyone went their separate ways, and Lyssa headed toward her room, wanting to change and maybe rest a bit. When she opened the door, she was startled when someone pushed her in, causing her to drop her bag. The door closed firmly, and she turned to find that Loki had followed her.

He turned her to face him, then took her wrists and backed her against the wall.

“Ooo, careful, Prince,” She murmured. “The last time you grabbed me like this, you got a nasty surprise.”

Loki studied her face as he gave her a half smile. He raised her hands above her head, then pinned them with his seidr. Lyssa tilted her head to see what he’d done, then met his vivid green eyes again. It had been so long since she’d seen them, and she had missed him.

Lyssa felt his fingers undo the shirt buttons at her wrists, then his hands glided over her to undo the gun belt, which he tossed aside. After untucking her shirt, he rested his hands on her hips as he leaned closer. She turned her face away from his kiss, and trembled when he kissed her ear, then the side of her neck.

“What are you doing?”  She asked, quietly.

“Something I should have done a long time ago,” he replied, slowly unbuttoning her shirt.

“Who says that I would have let you?”

“Oh, my dear, we both know that you would have,” he whispered, releasing her hands in order to slide her shirt off, which he tossed over the gun belt.

“You hurt me,” she said, in a small voice, giving him pause.

Loki met her gaze until she lowered her eyes to stare at his shoulder.

“I know,” he said, reaching up to stroke her cheek with one fingertip. “It wasn’t my intention.”

His arms went around her in order to lift her off her feet. He carried her to the bed, and laid down, pillowing her head on his forearm, then using that hand to grasp her wrist. Her other arm was trapped against his side.

“That’s a weak apology.”  Lyssa turned her face away from him again.

Once again, Loki kissed her ear, then neck. Lyssa closed her eyes when he pressed his lips into the curve of her neck and shoulder, then along her collar bone.

“I _am_ sorry,” he replied. “It’s not in my nature to declare my feelings for all to see.”

Lyssa jumped when he drew his fingers down her arm, tickling her, then he continued downward, over the swell of her breast, along her ribs, stopping at her waist. He could feel her stomach quivering at his touch as he slid his fingertips along the inside of the waistband of her cargo pants.

“However, I would have thought my actions were enough to let you know how I feel.”

“I thought that at first, then you told me you’d only come back to aggravate Tony and Thor,” she replied. “I guess I _am_ too stupid to read into that.”

“You’re not stupid, nor foolish. Stop saying that,” he reprimanded her. “Was it really the best time to declare feelings for each other?”

Once she thought about that, she had to agree. Her probation period was over, and she would return to the tower in another two weeks, once her training was done. Loki didn’t know that though.

“No, I suppose not,” she admitted. “Maybe it was for the best that I did my probation elsewhere.”

“Mhmmm,” he murmured, adjusting his position so that he could bring her leg up around his hip. His thigh then pressed against her core, causing her to catch her breath.

Loki growled softly when her free hand tugged his shirt free of his belt so that she could touch his skin. Lyssa reverently caressed his ribs and back, rubbing her hand up then down.

She finally let him capture her mouth, and he kissed her slowly, stealing her breath until she helplessly pulled him closer.

He let go of her wrist, and she immediately pulled the remainder of his shirt free so that she could use both hands to touch him. Lyssa arched into him when he left her lips to kiss her throat. Loki then moved downward, brushing over sensitive skin until he reached her navel.

 _“Loki,”_ she breathed.

A loud knock at the living room door startled them both. Loki was prepared to ignore it, but Lyssa couldn’t bring herself to do the same.

“What?”

“I seem to have misplaced a space prince,” Tony’s voice came from the other side of the door, and into the bedroom. “You haven’t seen him, have you?”

Lyssa wanted very badly to lie, but she and Tony both knew that Jarvis would be able to tell him.

“Yes, I have him.”

“Sounds interesting. What are you two doing?”

“Talking!” She replied, daring him to call her out.

“He has two guards here, twiddling their thumbs.”

“They can leave, he’s not going anywhere. I’ll take responsibility.”

“Very good, Agent.”

Lyssa could have sworn that Tony was laughing. She made a face as she gently smoothed a stray strand of hair out of Loki’s face. His hair was soft, and thick, and she envied him.

“What is it?” He asked.

“Nothing really, I just wish my hair had grown out more before I came back.”

She caught his hand before he could touch her hair, as she was still self-conscious about the length, and the scar. Loki kissed her briefly, then put both hands on her head. She allowed him to stroke the scar, and closed her eyes at the sensation.

“Do you still have pain here?”

“No, I just don’t like my hair this way,” she replied. “It invites too many questions.”

“You are beautiful, with long hair, short hair, or no hair,” he told her. “You will likely get used to it, and may choose to keep it short.”

Lyssa nodded, hugging him hard. “How long until you have a suite with no lock on the outside?”

“Some time yet,” he replied, with a smile. “I meant to behave, but there were too many other options.”

“What did you do??” She asked, alarmed.

“Just a couple of harmless pranks,” he replied. “You don’t need the details.”

She fought not to laugh at the mischievous grin he gave her. Whatever he’d done, it evidently wasn’t serious enough to fully restrict him again.

“Tony seems to be more tolerant of you, otherwise he would have gotten Thor to drag you out of here.”

“This is true,” he responded.

Lyssa reached up again to brush her fingertips over his brow, then twined a strand of hair around her finger before smoothing it back. Her fingers then caressed his throat lightly.

Loki kissed her again, growling when she unbuttoned his shirt. He felt that he would absolutely lose his mind when her soft hands caressed his chest.

“I want you,” he breathed in her ear. “I want you sprawled out beneath me, soaked in my scent...I want to make you come _undone_.”

Lyssa quivered at his words, then gave a soft mew when his teeth teased her bottom lip before moving to her earlobe. Her nails bit into his back as she held onto him for dear life.

“However, I believe it may be too soon for that,” he murmured. “You are barely off probation, and I am still confined, at least for the time being.”

Lyssa was deflated when he moved to her side, dropping an arm and a leg across her.

“I’ll be back in two weeks,” she whispered, rubbing a hand along his forearm. “Could you behave enough to get the lock removed by then? Didn’t they give you a time frame?”

“I doubt that I will ever fully gain their trust, but if I assist on these missions of theirs, perhaps they will see that I can at least be of _some_ value.”

“Could you do that?” She really hated seeing him caged again, although he seemed to be taking it in stride.

“With the proper incentive, anything is possible,” he replied, with a wicked grin as he moved a bra strap down her arm, then gently cupped her breast.

Lyssa gave a breathless gasp as he did so, then he leaned down to capture her lips once more.

Once again, they were startled by a heavy knock on the living room door. Lyssa sat up, then got to her feet while quickly pulling a tee shirt on.

“Oh, for the love of —- WHAT IS IT??” She was close to screaming at whoever had knocked this time.

“Are you two hungry?” Thor asked, through the door.

“We just ate. Try again!” She retorted.

Loki stood at the bedroom door, shirt still open, and watched her.

“I didn’t hear any talking in there.” This time it was Tony’s voice.

“It’s not like you to listen at doors, Boss.”

“True,” Tony replied. “But Loki does have to be in his suite by a certain time, and he’s passed that.”

Lyssa yanked the door open at that, and glared at them both. Thor was taken aback by her angry stance, and by the sight of his brother standing there with his shirt open.

“He has nowhere that he can go!”

“That’s not the point,” Tony interrupted her, softly.

She took a deep breath, while scrubbing a hand over her face, then through her hair.

“Sorry, Boss,” she said, blushing slightly.

“Accepted,” Tony replied. “However, there really isn’t any prohibition against him having company, if he wants it.”

“Oh.” Lyssa glanced back at Loki, who gave a slight nod. “That will be alright, then. Thank you.”

“Secure your weapons, then when you’re ready, you can join him,” Thor told her. “Brother?”

“I won’t be long,” Lyssa told Loki as he passed her to follow Thor.

Tony remained at her door after the Asgardians had left. He studied her silently, making her slightly nervous.

“Boss?” She asked. “Is something wrong?”

“Not really, I’m glad you’ve recovered well. You did a fine job with the quinjet,” he responded. “I guess I’m just a bit bewildered as to how we got _here_ , with Loki. And you.”

“I know what you mean,” she said, softly. “I really can’t explain it, especially after all the trouble he gave me before we were kidnapped. He really was an ass, but not while we were in Canada. I know there’s always a chance that he can...misbehave...but I don’t think he has the same mindset as when he attacked the city.”

Tony nodded as he thought over what she’d said. Loki certainly had mellowed out during her six month absence, and he was surprised by the change in him. He supposed that when Bucky had carried Lyssa to him after her hunger strike, Loki had gotten a wake up call when she’d stormed out on him.

Loki had been angry for the first few days, then apparently had buried his feelings deep, as he was used to doing. But he had asked about her every few days, even after seeing her during her therapy sessions in the gym.

Then she’d left for her training, and Loki had seemed a bit lost. He hadn’t blinked an eye when he’d been assigned new guards, and hadn’t given them any trouble. Tony had been sure to select guards who wouldn’t antagonize him, because Loki couldn’t be pushed around nor be made to do anything he didn’t want to do, unless Thor was there to force the issue.

“Do whatever you need to do, then Jarvis will open the door for you. The code has been changed,” Tony finally told her.

She nodded and closed the door softly after he left. She locked up her weapons, then took a quick shower before stuffing a sleep shirt and her uniform into her bag. She still had a couple uniforms in her room that she could wear the next day, but for now, she wore a tee shirt, jeans, and slip on shoes.

She finally stood outside Loki’s door, bag in hand.

“Jarvis?”

The door slid open for her, then slid shut after she had stepped in.

“Thanks, Jarvis.“

“You’re welcome, Agent McAlister.”

Lyssa stood uncertainly before walking further into the suite. She’d never been further than the kitchen. She looked around for a moment, then Loki came out of the bedroom and took her bag in one hand, then her elbow to guide her into the bedroom. It was spacious, neat and the bed was large.

“Fit for a prince,” she teased softly. “And you have a TV?”

“It helps to pass the time, although I really haven’t gotten a full grasp on some of the shows.”

“I can understand that,” she replied. “I usually watch the history or nature channels.”

Loki agreed as he slipped an arm around her waist to pull her close. She laid her head on his bare chest and closed her eyes. She felt it when he kissed the top of her head.

“Come on,” he said, leading her toward the bed. “I’m sure you’re tired.”

“A little,” she replied. “Let me get changed.”

Loki had already changed into his sleep pants, and waited while she opened her bag to get her sleep shirt. She quickly changed, then slid under the covers while Loki held them up for her. Once he laid down, Lyssa laid her head on his shoulder and nestled against his side.

“Cuddling with Loki Odinson, Prince of the Nine Realms,” she said. “I like it.”

“Me, too,” he replied, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Lyssa sighed sleepily, then shivered slightly when his hand slid under her shirt so that he could caress her back. After a moment, he took her arm and threaded it through the sleeve, guided it over her head, then tossed it aside after she slipped it off the other arm.

“You were overdressed,” he murmured, holding her close again, relishing the feel of her bare skin against him.

She nodded silently, then fell asleep, snuggled up to him. Loki stayed awake for a bit longer, before drifting off into a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m still working on this, and my goal is to update it at least once a week. Thanks for sticking with me 😊


	14. Chapter 14

The next morning, Loki awoke with the feeling that something was different. Then he remembered that he had company. He looked into the face of the woman sleeping beside him and was loathe to wake her. 

He had turned onto his side during the night and had basically trapped her. His leg rested over hers, and one arm laid across her chest. Lyssa’s hands were wrapped around his forearm and upper arm, holding onto him tightly. Loki wondered how she’d even been able to sleep, since she couldn’t move at all.

He shifted slightly, causing her fingers to tighten. Lyssa sighed softly, while trying to get even closer to him. Loki kissed her temple, soothing her back to sleep, after deciding that there was really no rush to get up. He dozed off again, and it was several hours before either of them woke.

“Are you awake?” Lyssa asked, very quietly to avoid disturbing him if he was still sleeping.

“Mhmmm.” Loki blinked his eyes open, a bit blearily.

“What time is it?”

“Not sure,” Loki replied, reluctantly releasing her as she began to move. “Stay still, you’re warm.”

“Sorry, but I have to get up for a few minutes.”

He let her go, watching as she put her tee shirt on before going into the bathroom. When she returned, she slid back into bed, scooting closer to him, then pulled the covers back up.

“It’s nine o’clock in the morning.” She told him. “Are you hungry?”

“For food? Or…?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Food,” she replied. “I’m starving. Do you have anything here to cook?”

“No, unfortunately,” he replied. “However, I am able to use the common kitchen. Most times I eat with the others.”

“That’s good!” She smiled softly at him.

“Yes, my door is unlocked and I’m able to move about this floor at will, but have to be escorted anywhere else.”

“Better.” She kissed him, while stroking his cheek. “Let’s go get some breakfast.”

***~~~***

A couple of days later, Lyssa went to her quarters to change into her uniform. She’d received word to return to base in Texas and was not looking forward to leaving Loki, even for the two weeks to finish her training.

He walked with her to the quinjet while the ramp lowered, and stood with her for a moment before kissing her forehead lightly.

“Be safe, and I’ll see you when you get back,” he told her.

“Yes, My Prince,” she replied, teasingly. “You behave.”

“We’ll see,” he said, with a shrug.

Lyssa laughed and walked onto the jet. Loki moved a safe distance away, watching while it lifted off, then turned. He raised a hand before going back into the tower.

Thirty minutes after Lyssa had left, Tony came out of his office and found Steve.

“There’s a HYDRA base that they want us to check out and neutralize. Jarvis has called Lyssa back with the jet. Let’s suit up.”

By the time Lyssa landed the jet again, they were all waiting and barely let the ramp touch the landing pad before running up it. Lyssa moved to the copilot’s seat when Steve entered the cockpit.

“She’s yours, Captain,” she murmured, buckling in.

The base in question was just over the Canadian border, and was a short flight away. Lyssa had a feeling of unease as they got closer to their destination.

“Is this where Loki and I were being held?” She asked, very quietly.

“Yes.”

Now, she definitely felt ill at the memory. She wondered why HYDRA hadn’t abandoned the base after she was rescued. They had to know that the place was on SHIELD’s radar. She could only guess that something had been left behind and they needed it.

“You okay?” Bucky’s voice at her shoulder startled her and she jumped.

“Yes, of course,” she replied.

“Hmmm, you don’t look okay,” he commented.

“Just a bit on edge,” she admitted. “Why would they come back here?”

“Guess we’ll find out,” Bucky replied, squeezing her shoulder.

*** ~~~ ***

Steve landed the jet away from the old manor where Loki and Lyssa had been held, leaving her to guard it and be ready for any air attacks. Loki was to join the team and help ferret out any HYDRA agents and whatever they’d hidden there.

Bucky stood beside Loki while they watched Lyssa put on her flak jacket before she took a rifle out of a weapons drawer. Bucky checked the fastenings, then gave it a playful tug.

“Watch your six,” he told her, then took a rifle for himself.

“Yes, sir, Sergeant, sir!” She saluted with a grin.

“Insolent,” he replied.

Loki watched them in silence, not realizing until then the depth of their bond. He should have recognized it earlier when Bucky had been at her side while she was hospitalized after her surgery. He wasn’t threatened, understanding that it was more of a brother/sister relationship than anything else.

Bucky pinched her cheek, then stepped away to check his weapon and to get extra ammunition cartridges. Lyssa then turned to Loki, raising her eyes to meet his.

“Keep your eyes open,” he said, softly, while adjusting her cap.

“Will do,” she replied, squeezing his fingers.

“Let’s move out,” Tony said, as he and Thor led the way.

Lyssa took her position after they left, and adjusted her comm as Steve and Tony began giving directions to the team. She kept up with where each team member was and what was going on. There were skirmishes here and there as they encountered enemy agents.

Bucky and Steve found a lower level that had been missed on their first visit, and Steve wasn’t very happy about it. There were tunnels leading to other levels, and possibly to secret exits.

*** ***

Lyssa diligently kept her eyes open, scanning her surroundings to be sure that she wasn’t surprised. So far, there hadn’t been any type of air defense, so she kept the quinjet on the ground and ready for take off.

A movement only a few hundred yards from the plane caught her attention and she quickly realized that HYDRA agents were bugging out via a secret exit.

_ “Oh, hell.” _

Her voice was heard over the comm, followed by gunshots, then she went silent.

*** ***

“I can’t raise her,” Bucky reported.

“I’ll go back,” Loki told him, having been paired up with him.

“Do that clone thing!” Bucky relayed Tony’s order. “Stay where you are unless she needs help.”

Loki fumed anxiously, but did as he was told. His double appeared at the plane, and saw in an instant that Lyssa was pinned down by several men who were trying to take control of it.

Just as he assessed the situation, she was hit by gunfire and went down. One of the men then ran toward her, grabbing her by the shoulder of her vest before dragging her up the ramp.

His rage threatened to overcome him as he dealt with the men who hadn’t made it onto the jet, then neutralized the ones in the cockpit before turning to Lyssa and kneeling by her side.

She lay on her back, deathly still. Loki began roughly tearing at the Velcro fastenings on her vest. At the movement, she stirred and grabbed his hands.

“Easy, easy,” she groaned, as he yanked it off and tossed it away.

“Where are you hit?” He demanded, ripping her tunic open, searching for wounds.

Loki saw five or six angry red marks on her chest and abdomen but no entry wounds and no blood. She grabbed his hands again, trying to get his attention.

“It’s okay, I’m not hurt.”

“I saw you — !”

“No, no, I’m okay, Loki,” she assured him, letting go of his hands.

He helped her sit up, then checked her back for wounds. He wasn’t gentle as he frantically looked her over.

“Have you hit your head?” He asked, pulling her cap off.

“No...but I'm seeing double…” she commented when one Loki became two, then one again after he ended the illusion. “Oh, that really  _ is _ a neat trick.”

He couldn’t help but smile at her as he lifted her into a seat. She groaned softly as she gingerly probed a particularly painful spot on her stomach.

“How are you not injured?” He asked.

“Hand me the vest,” she replied, gesturing.

He gave it to her, and she checked the inside of it. There were five flattened bullets that had penetrated to the inner layer, but no further.

“Look.” She pulled the bullets out of the material to show him. “They were stopped here, but they still hurt like a bitch.”

Loki pulled her to her feet and looked her over again. Once he was satisfied that she was unhurt, he pulled her hard against him. She was startled for just a moment before she hugged him hard.

“You didn’t answer your comm,” he said, releasing her.

“I lost it when I fell. I’ll get another one. You should go back.”

Lyssa retrieved another comm unit, then tried to close her ruined shirt while giving him a mock scowl. He grinned back at her, handing her the rifle she’d dropped. She pulled out another flak jacket and quickly put it on, with him checking it like Bucky had earlier.

“Leave me with a couple of those clones, would you?”

Loki waved his hand slightly, and then Lyssa was flanked by two more of him.

“I’ll be able to see you and help,” he told her, as he turned to go.

“Alright,” she responded. “Go have fun. Back online, Captain, Boss.”

She watched while he walked away, then dragged the two downed agents from the cockpit and off the jet.

An hour later, she saw movement again, but this time it was the team coming out of the base. Reinforcements had arrived, and were instructed to do a more thorough search to make sure that nothing had been missed. There had been a large stash of weapons on one of the lower levels, and they were promptly confiscated.

“He got a little overzealous when he thought I’d been shot,” Lyssa told Bucky when he took in her appearance. “I think there is another shirt here somewhere but I haven’t had time to look.”

Thor picked up the ruined flak jacket and looked at it closely before glancing at her in alarm. Those bullets had come too close in hitting vital areas. Natasha took a moment to fish out a shirt for her, which she quickly donned. Lyssa ignored Clint, who had wiggled his eyebrows at her when she shucked the ruined tunic.

“Shut up, Arrow Guy,” she muttered.

Lyssa returned her weapon to the drawer, and closed it after Natasha and Bucky had put theirs in also. She then walked unsteadily toward the cockpit to join Steve. Her slight wounds were starting to get sore, and she really wanted a hot bath to soak away the pain.

*** ~~~ ***

“Do I have to return the jet tonight?” Lyssa asked Tony.

They had returned to the tower, and by that time, she was stiff and sore. Loki took in her slow movements, and was tempted to sweep her up and carry her.

“No, I’ve cleared it so that you can leave tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Boss.”

“Yep,” he replied. “I’ll be glad to have you back, and Loki will be, too.”

She looked at him in surprise at the mention of Loki.

“He’s been remarkably well-behaved, and very helpful on this mission,” Tony went on. “If he keeps that up, his restrictions may be lifted sooner than planned.”

“That would be nice for him. I’d hate to be cooped up like that,” Lyssa replied.

Tony nodded and playfully punched her shoulder. “Go get some rest.”

Lyssa walked on to join Loki and Thor, who had waited for her just out of earshot. Loki placed his arm at the small of her back, guiding her toward his suite.

“I’m hungry,” she told him, wanting to go to the kitchen instead.

“I think you should have a hot bath, first,” he replied. “And I want to be sure that you don’t have any other wounds.”

That was tempting, and Lyssa had to decide between food and the bath. She opted for the bath. Loki guided her to his suite, then left her sitting on the bed while he started the water. 

She slowly undressed down to her underwear, wincing at the soreness in her muscles. Loki came out of the bathroom, and went immediately to her, making her stand up while he inspected the bruises where the bullets had struck her.

He carefully examined her front and back, then her legs before being satisfied that she’d sustained no severe injuries.

“Are you in pain?” He asked.

“A little,” she admitted. “I’m getting stiff and sore, but the bath will help with that.”

“Go ahead and get in the tub,” he told her. “I’ll bring something from your room for you to wear.”

“Thank you.”

Lyssa went into the bathroom and gratefully sank into the water. Loki had put bubble soap in the tub, which surprised her. She caught a giggle while imagining Loki in a bubble bath. 

She laid back in the tub, letting the water soak into her muscles. She drowsed until the water started to get cool, then got out to towel dry. She wrapped the towel around her before going into the bedroom. Loki had laid out her jeans and a large tee shirt that she used as a gown.

After she had dressed, she went out into the living room to find that he had brought food from the common kitchen so that they could eat by themselves. It was very thoughtful of him, and probably not something he’d have done on Asgard.

When she approached the table, Loki came around it and hugged her to him again. Lyssa put her arms around him also, squeezing as hard as she could, causing him to chuckle at her effort.

“Come, sit,” he said, pulling out a chair for her, then sitting across from her. “Do you feel better?”

“Much better,” she replied. “I feel like I could sleep for a week.”

They ate in silence, with Loki realizing that she needed the quiet time to decompress. Once they had eaten, she helped him clear away the dishes before following him meekly to the bedroom, with him holding her hand to lead her.

Lyssa slid out of her jeans, then got settled in the bed, propping herself up on pillows while she waited on him to join her. She turned on the TV and found a nature channel to watch.

“What kind of animal is that?” He asked, startling as he came out of the bathroom.

“It’s a jaguar, a large cat or feline, native to South America,” she replied. “Sometimes they have a black coat.”

“Do mortals keep them as pets?” He settled in bed beside her, pulling the covers up over their legs.

“Some people do, but they can still be unpredictable, even if they’re hand raised.”

They sat together like that, with her explaining about the animals that were on the show. She finally fell asleep against his side. Loki carefully moved her until she was laying down, then he laid beside her. She turned and put her arm across his chest.

Loki idly stroked her arm as he laid awake, thinking about what had happened earlier that day. He had panicked when he’d seen her fighting off the HYDRA agents; seeing her fall after a round of gunfire had sent him into a murderous rage.

Then he’d seen her laying on the floor of the quinjet. He’d thought she was dead. He never wanted to see anything like that again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted this while my eyes were trying to close, due to the pain meds kicking in. If you see any mistakes, please let me know so that I can correct them. Thanks for reading!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie...I cried...

Early the next morning, Lyssa was startled awake when Loki sat up abruptly. He looked wildly around the room before his gaze landed on her. She sat up slowly, having never seen him like this.

“What is it?” She asked, being careful to keep her voice calm. If he struck out at her, he’d easily injure or kill her. “Loki?”

She remained still, realizing that he must have had a bad dream. Breathing raggedly, he finally took a deep breath while running his hand through his hair. 

“Come here.”

He reached out and pulled her to him, then onto his lap. He held her there and put his head on her shoulder, with his arms firmly around her. 

“Is everything alright?” She asked, quietly. 

“Just a bad dream,” he whispered. 

“Do you want to tell me?” 

She felt him shake his head before he replied. “Not just yet.”

“Okay.” Lyssa ran her hand up and down his arm, trying to soothe him. 

After about fifteen minutes, he relaxed enough to lay back down but continued to hold her close. Lyssa put her leg across his and an arm across him, holding on tightly. They stayed that way for a while until he rolled to his side, putting her onto her back. 

Lyssa shivered when his hand went under her shirt so that he could touch the bruises left by the bullets in her flak jacket. He unerringly found each one, with his fingertips making light circles around them. 

“We came close to losing you today,” he said, almost under his breath. 

“‘We’?” She questioned. 

“Your butt-whooping brothers, and me,” he responded, trying to bring humor to lighten the mood. 

She did laugh softly then while stroking his arm again. He sighed and kissed her temple. 

Lyssa reached up, touching his face. “But you didn’t, and I’m alright.”

“I thought you dead. I don’t ever want to feel that way again.”

There it was, the cause of his disquiet. Lyssa wasn’t sure what else she could do to soothe him. It had been a scary situation for them both. She had seen his panic when he ripped the flak jacket off of her, and she had never thought to see Loki Odinson in panic mode. 

So, she kissed him, softly at first, then more demandingly. He returned the kiss, almost desperately, before adjusting his position until his chest covered hers. Her shirt disintegrated when he gripped the neck and tore through the material with no effort at all; then his hands glided over her bare skin before he withdrew slightly. 

“What is it?” She asked, puzzled. 

“I thought to wait until you came back to avoid any problems,” he replied.

“Listen,” she said. “If there was going to be any issue, Tony would never have let me stay with you last night.”

Loki considered that while the stroked his thumb over her lips. 

“You do know that I can’t promise to stay out of trouble entirely, don’t you?”

“Yes, My Prince, I do know that. But do you think you could refrain from maiming or killing anyone, unless you’re on a mission?”

“I don’t know, that’s a pretty tall order,” he grinned. “Thor kind of expects me to stab him occasionally.”

Lyssa couldn’t help but laugh at that. His smile was mischievous, causing her to laugh harder, until she was breathless. Once she’d stopped laughing, she lightly stroked his cheek with the backs of her fingers, admiring the sharpness of his jawline and his smooth skin. 

“You are beautiful, you know that?” She sighed. “Especially when you smile.”

Her hand then slid into his hair in order to bring his mouth against hers so that she could kiss him. Loki returned her kiss, then his lips found her ear, then the side of her neck. Lyssa arched her neck when he then nuzzled at her throat. 

Loki pushed her arms up above her head, causing her to start when he once again used his seidr to bind them in place. Then he tickled her slightly when he slid his fingers down her arms and across her shoulders. 

“I won’t hurt you,” he whispered, shifting downward until he could kiss each bruise on her torso. 

“I know,” Lyssa whispered back, closing her eyes as she trembled under his touch.  

Loki drew back slightly to look up at her and the sight caused his breath to catch in his throat. Her eyes were closed, and her teeth worried at her lower lip between soft gasps for air. She was tense with anticipation, and jumped slightly when he kissed her stomach. 

He released her hands, kissing her while pressing into her, watching her face all the while. She gripped his upper arms hard as he moved against her. 

“Look at me,” he whispered, placing a hand on her head, and feeling her unease when he did so. 

Lyssa brought a hand to his shoulder, then to his neck before gripping his hair. She felt the pending release and writhed, holding onto him fiercely when she finally shuddered with pleasure. 

Loki felt her teeth sink into his shoulder as he reached his own release, and he growled before collapsing onto her. Lyssa kissed the spot she’d bitten, as if trying to soothe his skin. He smiled at the gesture, then turned his head to capture her lips. 

He gently ran his fingers through her short hair, ruffling it while kissing her sweated face and neck. Lyssa’s hands caressed his back, then held him tightly when he started to move away from her. He turned to his side, drawing her flush against him and holding her close. 

“My Prince,” she sighed, sleepily. 

Loki held her firmly as she fell asleep in his arms. It had been some time since he’d held someone so close, and he dozed while stroking her head. 

Several hours later, he was with her on the landing pad as she prepared to fly back to the base in Texas. She was reluctant to go, and he was reluctant to let her leave. 

“I’ll be back in two weeks,” she whispered as he kissed her forehead. 

He nodded, not saying anything, but was slow to release the hand that he held. She squeezed his fingers lightly before turning to walk up the quinjet’s ramp. 

*** ~~~ ***

The day that Lyssa was to return to the tower, Loki restlessly waited for her. He knew that the others were watching him, knowingly, but he was careful not to let his anxiety show. Only Thor knew just how eager he was. 

He was reading in the common room, and had been on the same page for the last half hour, when the elevator opened. Tony, Thor and Bucky stepped off, and Loki barely acknowledged them when they joined him. 

When Thor sat beside him, he did finally glance at his brother. From the expression on Thor’s face, he knew something was wrong. Tony and Bucky both wore similar expressions. 

“What is it, Brother?” He asked. 

_Lyssa. Coma. Brain bleed. Prognosis not good._  

He heard the words, but nothing after that, just the sound of rushing air as they sank in. Thor’s mouth moved, but there was no sound. He knew that the others were talking softly around him, but he heard none of it. 

Now he sat on her bed, replaying Thor’s words in his head. He idly played with the ring taser that he’d taken from her after their scuffle on the elevator all those months ago.

Tony had explained that Lyssa had packed her few things the night before, but hadn’t answered her door when several men came to help her load them onto the plane. When they couldn’t get her to the door, one of the agents had kicked it in. 

Lyssa was still in bed, deathly pale, alive, but barely. She’d been rushed to the infirmary, where it was discovered that she’d suffered a bleed in the area where the tumor had been removed. 

She’d been stabilized, and then Tony had insisted that she be brought home. All the doctors had vehemently objected to the move, but he’d put them all on the plane, and her surgeon waited in the tower for her arrival. 

Now they waited for word that the plane had landed. It should be any time now. 

Loki had been sitting on her bed for what seemed like hours when he felt a hand on his shoulder. 

“What’s that?” He asked Thor, watching his brother’s lips as he spoke. 

“I said that she’s off the plane and they’re taking her to a room in the infirmary. I’ll walk with you, if you like,” Thor repeated. 

Loki nodded and got up. Everything seemed to move in slow motion: the elevator ride down to the medical wing, the walk down the hallway, and the walk to her bedside. 

Loki stood beside her and took her hand very gently. She was hooked up to all types of machines, with most of them beeping softly. Her short hair was disheveled, and he absently smoothed it down, knowing that she didn’t like for it to be unkempt.

_Don’t bother with mortals, their lives are fleeting…._ Odin’s voice intruded, and Loki stamped it down viciously. _You’ll never be ready, never be ready, never be ready…._

Someone, it might have been Bucky, got him a chair so that he could sit beside her. He continued to hold onto her with one hand and stroke her head with the other, all the while speaking so softly to her. 

Tony and the surgeon spoke outside the room, not wanting to disturb Loki’s vigil. The surgeon had looked at the tests that were done in Texas, but needed to run more before he could formulate a treatment plan, if one was feasible. 

“Right now, she’s breathing on her own, which is a good thing,” the surgeon told Tony. “The longer she does that, the better off she’ll be. I’ll order another MRI in a couple hours to see if the bleeding has stopped. If it hasn’t, she’ll need surgery.”

Tony nodded while looking through the window at Loki. 

“Who is she closest to?” The surgeon asked. 

“The Prince, and Bucky,” Tony replied. 

“If they could talk to her, like he’s doing now….I have seen situations where it’s helped, but it certainly won’t hurt.”


	16. Chapter 16

Loki sat with Lyssa for the remainder of the day and through the night, constantly speaking to her while either rubbing her head or her hand. The medical staff monitored her closely, but there was no change in her condition, either for the better or the worse. She still breathed on her own while supported with an oxygen mask. 

Thor checked on them both periodically, and offered to sit with her but Loki refused to leave. He declined food or sleep while he was with her. Tony and Steve would also come to check on things, but for the most part, stayed outside the room, watching through the window. 

Bucky entered the room around midday and took a seat on the other side of the bed. He took Lyssa’s hand, gently stroking the backs of her fingers. Loki nodded at him, but other than that, they didn’t speak. 

Loki turned his thoughts inward, cursing himself for not gaining more proficiency with internal head wounds; it wasn’t as if he’d never had the time. He thought about the books he’d brought with him, and wondered if there was a spell that he could use to help her. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to see if he could find something.

“Sergeant.”  

Bucky was surprised to hear Loki address him, evident by his expression. 

“I wonder if you would stay with her until I return. I have to find a book.”

“Sure.” 

Bucky thought it rather strange that Loki would leave for a book, but then it dawned on him that Loki might want to read to her. Once Loki had left, Bucky leaned closer to her in order to speak softly in her ear. He rubbed her head as Loki had done, smoothing her hair down while running a fingertip gently over the scar. 

*** ~~~ ***

_Lyssa._

_The sound of her name being spoken echoed around her. She turned, listening but unable to find its source. She was lost in darkness, with no sense of direction._

_It sounded like Loki’s voice, but she couldn’t find him, then she heard Bucky._

_Bucky?_

_She was still unable to pinpoint where the voices were coming from._

_I’m cold. Where am I? Where are you?_

_As she turned, she saw a faint light, but instinctively stayed away from it; she knew that she needed to find Loki and Bucky. Her feet were cold, something that she hated as much as getting her shoes and socks wet and being unable to immediately change out of them._

_Wet feet. Blech. Cold feet. Double blech. Wet_ and _cold feet? A bad day, indeed._

_Loki…._

_The voices went quiet, leaving her uncertain as to what to do._

_Help me._

*** ~~~ ***

Loki returned to his room and stalked toward his bookcases which held spellbooks he’d collected himself, and ones that his mother had given him. They’d been in storage until he’d earned enough trust to have them released to him. 

He started pulling books from the shelves, browsing through them before tossing the ancient volumes carelessly onto the floor. 

Thor had followed after him, rather surprised that he’d left Lyssa. He watched while Loki determinedly searched through his books; he’d always taken great care with them, until now. 

“Brother?”

“It’s here somewhere, I just have to find it,” Loki muttered, more to himself than anything. 

“Can I help?”

Loki shook his head while discarding yet another book before taking another one down. There were several hundred books to look through, making him anxious to find what he needed. 

“Loki, let me help. What are you looking for?” Thor came further into the room. 

“A healing spell for the head,” Loki replied, tossing another book on the pile. 

“Tell me what I should look for.”

Loki explained about the spell, giving Thor a general idea of what to look for. Thor joined the search, handling the books more carefully. He recognized some as belonging to their mother, taking special care with them. 

After about twenty minutes, Thor handed an open book to Loki. 

“Is this it?” He asked. He’d asked this several times, with Loki shaking his head. 

Loki scanned the page before snatching the book away and running from the room. Thor took a few minutes to place the books back on the shelves. Loki could arrange them later into their proper spots. 

*** ~~~ ***

Bucky looked around as Loki hurriedly came back into Lyssa’s room. Loki sat down while reading the spell that Thor had found. He propped the book up against Lyssa’s side, then took her hand while studying the text. 

Bucky watched him silently; as he read, Loki’s free hand traced out ancient runes and symbols as he rehearsed the spell to himself. His expression was intense, so Bucky didn’t ask any questions. He would just wait and see what the Asgardian was up to. 

“Sergeant,” Loki finally spoke to him. “I’d like your help.”

“Of course.”

“Please wet a towel and bring it here.”

Bucky did as he was asked, then Loki directed him to uncover Lyssa’s feet and wrap them with the towel. Bucky hesitated for just a brief moment before obeying. 

“She doesn’t like for her feet to be wet,” he told Loki. 

“Then she will need to wake up to complain,” Loki replied, firmly. 

Bucky nodded in agreement as he adjusted the towel before resuming his seat and taking her hand. Loki studied the spell for just a bit longer before getting up and going to the foot of the bed. He uncovered her feet, then started rubbing the bottom of one foot with both hands while pressing hard into her arch with his thumbs. 

As he did this, he chanted the spell under his breath, sending his seidr through her in order to break through any congestion that was blocking her from regaining consciousness. His thumbs moved to the ball of her foot, again pressing hard. Bucky was sure that Lyssa would certainly wake up if only to kick at the person that was handling her so roughly. 

Loki alternated to the other foot, repeating his movements until he reached her ankles, calves, and knees. He went back to her feet, then up to her knees several times. 

After each pass, he felt her muscles start to relax while her skin warmed to his touch. Bucky watched him with interest before standing. 

“Can I help do that?”

Loki nodded and indicated where he should start. Bucky paid attention to his instructions. 

“Watch me, and press hard where I tell you.”

Together, they moved further up her legs until they reached her hips. They were so intent on what they were doing that they didn’t notice that Tony, Steve and Thor were watching from outside the room. 

“Will that work?” Steve asked Thor quietly. 

“It worked when my mother used it before. The situation is slightly different, but the outcome was good,” Thor replied. “Of course, there’s never a guarantee.”

“Of course,” Steve said with a nod. 

Loki and Bucky had reached Lyssa’s arms by this point, working in tandem until Loki put his hand on her head while chanting the spell again. 

“Rub her feet,” he directed Bucky. “Keep them wet.”

*** ~~~ ***

 _My feet are wet. How’d_ that _happen?_

_Lyssa reached for her feet, which had suddenly started to hurt. It felt like she was walking on gravel, although she knew there were no rocks in this dark void._

_Once again, a voice echoed around her, but this time it was in a language that she didn’t understand. It sounded like Loki and seemed as if he was desperate._

_If she could only find him…._

_*** ~~~ ***_

For the next two days, Loki wove his spell over Lyssa, with Bucky’s help. At Bucky’s suggestion, they also added ice to the wet towels in an effort to reach her. 

When Loki worked at her head, he carefully used his seidr there, following the tiny strands of neurons, nerves and blood vessels, and attempting to repair them. 

The surgeon monitored her closely while deciding whether a second surgery would be necessary, and if the risk would be too great. The second MRI had shown no new bleeds, so the doctor was content in letting Loki attempt the non-traditional treatment. Lyssa continued to breathe on her own, which was still a good sign. 

By the fifth day, Loki was nearing exhaustion. He hadn’t slept, nor eaten but refused to leave. Bucky continued to help him massage her feet and limbs when needed. He’d even brought food, but Loki waved it away. 

“You want to go rest a bit?” Bucky asked. “I’ll stay.”

Loki started to shake his head, but a voice interrupted him. 

“I’m having another bed brought in for you,” Tony told him, stepping into the room, with Thor and Steve behind him. “Food is also being brought, and you’re expected to eat. If this works, she will never forgive me if her two favorite guys have starved to death.”

Bucky grinned at that, while Loki wasn’t sure how to respond. Tony had in no way, shape or form been a fan of Loki’s, and when he was first brought to the tower, Tony would have easily locked Loki in the deepest part of the building and left him to starve. 

Thor had always had faith that his brother could be turned around, while all the others were skeptical. Then Lyssa had been assigned to guard him. Tony still wasn’t sure if that had been a mistake or fate. He wasn’t even sure what had happened to make Loki take notice of her. 

Bucky had explained his theory that Loki could really have escaped at any time while Lyssa was moving him between his suite and the conference room, but had chosen not to, because of her. Tony had scoffed at that, until Bucky reminded him of Loki’s behavior the day that Lyssa had stunned him, causing him to get that small cut on his head. 

Loki had sat still, his expression softening from the angry countenance he’d had when he first entered the room. Lyssa had been so gentle with him, even though the wound was only a mere annoyance to the powerful sorcerer. 

Then there was the scuffle in the elevator. Loki could easily have killed her, but he hadn’t, nor had he hurt her while they were being held in the Canadian manor. 

“Take turns,” Tony said, pointing at each of them. “I mean it. You don’t want to see her get really angry, trust me.”

Shortly after they’d left, another bed was brought in. Then two trays of food. Just the smell of the food made Loki realize just how hungry he was. 

“Go ahead,” Bucky told him. “Eat, then lie down for a while. I’ll stay right here.”

Loki nodded, before going to eat. He wasn’t going to lie down, but Bucky insisted. Once he had stretched out, he forced himself to relax. Then he slipped into a tired sleep. 

When he awoke several hours later, Bucky was still in his place, but had pulled his own food tray over so that he could eat as well. 

“Feel better?” Bucky asked. 

“Yes,” Loki replied. “Thank you. I’ll take over now so that you can rest.”

“Don’t mind if I do,” Bucky replied with a sigh. “Wake me if you need to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m still here, and will update soon. I’m rather stuck right now, and giving it a rest before continuing. Sorry about the delay 🥺


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I might need some suggestions on this one LOL  
> 🤣🤷

_Lyssa became very annoyed as she continued to fight her way through the darkness. Her feet were cold, wet and sore, making her miserable._

_She would still hear Loki’s and Bucky’s voices, but could not find her way to them._

_She thought she’d seen another light besides the white one; the new one was green and silver. She hadn’t seen it but once, and it was fleeting._

_Loki.  Bucky._

_Her voice calling their names was weak, and she was sure that they’d never hear her._

*** ~~~ ***

By day six, the doctor and Tony were unsure if Lyssa would ever wake up. She still wasn’t getting any better or worse. Loki stayed at her side and continued with the spell and foot massage, with Bucky remaining to help him. 

Loki was chanting the spell while rubbing her head, when he thought he felt her twitch. He stopped and looked her over critically. None of the machines had sounded any type of alarm, so he continued, after nodding at Bucky to keep manipulating her feet. 

*** ~~~ ***

_Let go of my feet._

_Lyssa was still annoyed that someone was bothering her feet and wouldn’t stop._

_Let go of my feet!_

_Loki’s voice came to her, covering her like a warm blanket. Once again, she saw the green and silver light; it almost looked like a doorway. She started toward it hesitantly, expecting it to move away from her._

_Let go of my feet._

_What’s that, pet?_

_It was Loki and he sounded amused._

_What is it that you want?_

*** ~~~ ***

“Let go of my feet.”

Bucky started in shock when Lyssa’s legs jerked weakly as she tried to pull away from him. 

“What do you want, pet?” Loki asked close to her ear. 

She irritably reached up for the oxygen mask, or at least that was her intent, but she could barely raise her hand. Loki’s hand on her head kept her from thrashing it about. 

“You have to tell us what you want.” Loki’s voice was firm and commanding. 

She took a deep breath before trying again. “Let go...my feet.”

Her throat was so dry that tears stung her eyes when she tried to speak. She managed to reach for Loki; her fingers scrabbled over his forearm then upward until she had a handful of his hair. 

“You can do better than that,” he told her, indicating that Bucky should continue.

“LET. GO. OF. MY. FEET.” And she yanked on his hair, _hard_.

She was still very weak, but the pull on his hair was still impressive. Loki smiled when her eyes blinked open, and her gaze unerringly found him, and then Bucky.

“Let go...or...kick your ass…”

“I look forward to the day you _try_ to kick my ass, doll face,” Bucky laughed, in relief, then grinned when she cut her eyes at him, and tried to kick him. 

“Water,” She whispered hoarsely, her fist tightening on Loki’s hair. 

By that time, the surgeon had arrived, after Jarvis had alerted him that Lyssa was waking. Loki didn’t move from his seat, so the doctor went to the side that Bucky had occupied, while Loki gently pried her fingers from his hair. 

“No water just yet,” the doctor told them. “Ice chips for now.”

The head of her bed was raised slightly just as a nurse came in to assist. She handed a cup of ice to Loki then waited for instructions. 

“You…dry my feet,” Lyssa said, pointing at Bucky. 

“Giving orders, are we?” Loki asked.  

“Loki,” she whispered, tears brimming. “I heard you both.”

He kissed her temple then offered a spoonful of ice. She accepted gratefully, closing her eyes while chewing on it. Loki gave her more until she’d had enough for the moment. 

Bucky had finished drying her feet, then wrapped a warm, dry towel around them before straightening the covers over her. She smiled at him while struggling to keep her eyes open. The doctor stepped away, letting the nurse change out the IV fluids. 

“Young lady, you had your friends very upset with you,” the doctor told her. “So, I expect you to make a full recovery.”

“I second that,” Tony said, as he, Thor and Steve crowded into the room. 

Lyssa wiggled her fingers at them, too weak to raise her hand. 

“Alright, you all can visit for a bit, but then she needs to rest,” the surgeon told them. “I’m scheduling another MRI. You can stay until they come for her.”

*** ~~~ ***

Later that day, Lyssa was returned to her room after the tests were done. Loki and Bucky had waited for her; they could tell she was exhausted by the time she got back. 

“You should get some rest now,” Bucky told her, watching while a nurse administered her medications. 

Lyssa gave him a wry frown as he kissed her fingers, then leaned over to kiss her cheek. She playfully pushed him away. 

“Need...shave…”

“Insolent,” he teased. “But you’re right.”

Once he left, she looked over at Loki. He stroked her cheek, then smiled when she reached for his hand. 

“Go rest,” she whispered. 

“I’m staying right here,” he told her. “I’ll be watching over you while you sleep.”

Lyssa nodded before drifting off. Loki continued to rub the backs of his fingers against her cheek, watching while she slept. 

*** ~~~ ***

Several days later, Lyssa was a bit stronger and ready for something to eat. Loki arranged for black cherry yogurt to be available to her, which she happily ate. 

“Tomorrow I want a thick prime rib,” she told him.

“Oh, really?” Loki asked, smiling in amusement. 

“Yep, with a big ol’ baked potato, butter, no sour cream.”

Loki tried not to laugh at her, but he knew that she was being incredibly outlandish. She had opened a second cup of yogurt and was making her way to the bottom of it. 

“You think I'm kidding, don’t you?”

“I have no doubt that when the time comes for solid food, you will be allowed a prime rib,” he responded, squeezing her knee. 

“Hmmm, maybe by that time, I’ll want two,” she said, putting the empty cup on the food tray. 

“Then two it is,” he nodded. 

“And a salad,” she quipped. 

“Anything else?” He asked, sarcastically. 

Lyssa thought for a minute. “Cheesecake.”

“I don’t know where you think you’ll put all that,” he told her. 

“You can help me eat it,” she replied. 

“Alright.”

She laid back with a sigh before reaching for his hand. Her thumb rubbed the backs of his fingers. 

“When can I get out of here?” She asked. 

“Not sure. I think your doctor wants to be very sure that we don’t have a repeat of what happened in Texas,” he replied. “None of us want that either.”

“I second that,” she said. “I’m not looking forward to therapy, though. I had almost got all my strength back and then…”

“Understandable,” he told her. “But just think, now you’ll have me and Sergeant Barnes to help you.”

She stared at him in horror. “Oh, _shit_. I’m not getting out of bed if that’s the case.”

*** ~~~ ***

A week later, Lyssa was released from the infirmary with strict instructions not to overdo any activity. She could walk around the jogging track, but couldn’t use a treadmill. She was absolutely forbidden to do any type of training or flying until her doctor signed off on it. 

She went to her room, ready for a shower and something other than a hospital gown to wear. While she was gathering clothes in preparation of a shower, a knock sounded at her door.

“Come in!”

She smiled when Loki opened the door and closed it behind him.

“Hey, you,” she said. 

“Hey, yourself,” he replied. “I was to escort you from the infirmary.”

“I was too eager to leave before they thought of another test to put me through,” she grimaced. 

Lyssa walked over and tiptoed to kiss him. Loki wrapped his arms around her in order to lift her up against him. 

“That’s nice,” she whispered, lips against his. 

“I want you to sleep in my bed,” he told her. “I don’t want you to be alone.”

“I’d like that,” she breathed. 

“I’ll wait while you shower, then we’ll go together, hmmm?”

“Ok.”


	18. Chapter 18

Very early that morning, Lyssa woke suddenly and fought her way out of Loki’s embrace. Once she was free, she scrambled out of bed and stumbled toward the windows, trying desperately to open one. 

She had startled Loki, and his immediate reaction was to look for danger. When he saw that she was trying to open a window, he realized that she was struggling to catch her breath. 

“I can't breathe, can’t breathe,” she gasped, moving to another set of windows and trying to get them open. “Outside, take me outside.”

“Shhh,” Loki picked her up and carried her toward the common room where he could access the balcony door. “Jarvis, alert the doctor.”

Once outside, he sat down on a bench and held her while waiting on help. Lyssa took great gasping breaths, shaking uncontrollably. Jarvis had summoned the doctor and Tony and the ensuing commotion woke Thor and Bucky up, then Steve as well. 

When Thor brought a blanket to wrap her against the chill, she shoved it away, leaving it only on her legs. Loki rubbed her back soothingly while speaking softly to her. 

The doctor arrived and quickly checked her over before preparing to give her an injection. 

“No, no.” Lyssa shook her head but was really too weak to resist when Loki held her arm still so that the doctor could treat her. 

“It’s just a panic attack,” the doctor told Loki quietly when she slowly relaxed. Her breathing returned to normal, and her head fell against his neck as she went to sleep. “She’s alright now.”

Loki nodded but stayed where he was until he was sure she was sleeping. Finally, he carried her back to bed. She didn’t wake when he put her down, then covered her with just the top sheet. He touched her head lightly before going back to the common room. 

“She’s sleeping,” Loki told the others as he joined them in the kitchen. “Please, go back to bed. Thank you.”

The doctor gave Loki a pill bottle. “Try to get her to take one of these before bed. They should help.”

Once he’d left, Loki turned to the others. Tony glanced at Thor, who nodded slightly. Tony then held out a thin piece of paper that had a metallic look to one side.

“What’s that?” Loki asked. 

“The thinnest link to Jarvis that I could make. You should consider putting it on her,” Tony replied, grimly. “He can use it to track her if she should get out of this building without any of us knowing it.”

“Do you think that’s really necessary? She just had one attack.” Loki looked at Thor, then Bucky, before turning his attention back to Tony. 

“Do you want to take the chance?” Tony countered. “Before the surgery, she managed to get out of here on more than one occasion, even when we were on to her.”

Loki reached out to take the device and studied it quietly while Tony explained how it would work. 

“She’ll never know it’s on her. Just put it somewhere unobtrusive; her back or shoulder blade will do nicely.”

“Alright,” Loki replied, reluctantly. “I’ll consider it. I’m going back to bed now.”

Loki returned to his room and sat on the side of the bed while looking over the link that Tony had given him. After putting it and the pill bottle on the bedside table, he laid down with a sigh. Lyssa hadn’t moved while he was gone, but now she rolled toward him and put her head on his shoulder and arm across his chest. 

He stared at the ceiling for a long time while his fingers gently stroked the back of her shoulder. Finally, he reached over and picked up the link. He carefully peeled the backing off and placed the wafer thin tracker onto her skin. Once he had it on, he couldn’t even feel it, and he knew where it was. 

His hand then went to his bracelet that she still wore. He toyed with it, then put refreshed the spell on it that would help him track her if she managed to get away from Jarvis. 

Loki was finally able to get back to sleep, with Lyssa’s breath falling softly against the side of his neck. 

*** ~~~ ***

When Lyssa woke the next morning, she felt as if she had a hangover. Loki was already up and came in when he heard her moving around. She sat up, pushing herself upright until she was able to lean against the headboard. 

“Did I go on a bender last night? My mouth feels like I’ve been eating cotton balls.”

She made a face while rubbing her eyes sleepily. Loki smiled softly at the sight of her: she was delightfully tousled. 

“No,” he replied. “You didn’t sleep well, is all.”

“Oh.” She looked around. 

“Are you hungry?”

“A little,” Lyssa replied. 

“Alright, stay there and I’ll be right back.”

He returned after a few minutes with a breakfast tray and Lyssa gave him an alarmed look. 

“Breakfast in bed? Served by a prince?” She asked. “I’m dying then, aren’t I?”

“Don’t be silly,” Loki replied with a soft laugh. 

She grinned at him then as she straightened the covers so that he could place the tray close to her. He had brought her a light breakfast, and she was able to eat most of it. 

When Loki returned from taking the tray to the kitchen, she was just coming out of the bathroom, holding a wet cloth against her forehead. She climbed back into bed, just not ready to face the day. 

“Does your head hurt?” he asked. 

“No, I just feel a little woozy,” she told him. “What happened last night?”

“Nothing to worry about,” he assured her. “You had a panic attack and the doctor sedated you.”

“I never have panic attacks,” she responded.

“But you did,” he said gently.

“That’s bad,” Lyssa whispered, more to herself. 

“Don’t say that,” he chided. “Why don’t you rest a while longer?”

“Alright.” 

She laid back down with a sigh and was almost immediately asleep. Loki straightened the covers before leaving her alone. 

“She’s sleeping,” Loki told Tony and Thor when he returned to the kitchen. 

“Good, she needs the rest,” Tony commented. 

*** ~~~ ***

Over the next several weeks, Lyssa started therapy; her doctor was allowing only walking or swimming to get her strength back up. She was still forbidden any type of training.  

Each week saw a barrage of tests: MRIs, neurological tests, psychological tests etc.  Lyssa grew tired of them, but understood the reasoning behind it, although her temper threatened to flare up on her. 

At the end of each therapy session, Loki would escort her back to his suite, and she’d be utterly exhausted. She would have appreciated the fact that she had a spoiled space prince waiting on her hand and foot if not for the circumstances. 

Even though she’d been exercising for a month by now, she didn’t feel that she was getting any stronger. It worried her, but Loki or Bucky would be reassuring, telling her that it would take time and not to rush it. 

Three months in, the stress was getting to her. She knew something was wrong, although the doctor kept telling her that there were no new bleeds in her brain, and that there was no evidence of any type of tumor. 

“My darling, if he was lying to you, I’d know it instantly,” Loki kept telling her. “You know that, right?”

“But you can’t read his mind, nor have you seen my chart,” she replied. 

“But I have talked to him,” he responded, gently. “Would that not assure you?”

“I suppose.”  She still wasn’t convinced and he knew it, but he reasoned that as more time passed, she’d see results from the therapy. 

“Come here,” Loki pulled her into his lap and held her close. She relaxed in his embrace, allowing her head to drop to his shoulder. “Try not to worry.”

She nodded and gave a soft sniffle. One hand came up to rest on the side of his neck and her fingers caressed his skin.  

“If I tell you that I love you, are you going to panic and put me back into my own room?”

Loki hid a smile as she put both arms around his neck and sighed sleepily. 

“Why would I do that? We both worked too hard to get to this point, didn’t we?”

“Hmmm.” Her breath came slow and soft as she drifted off to sleep. 

Loki held her for a while longer before putting her to bed. It did worry him that she didn’t seem to be bouncing back like she’d done before. He talked to the doctor at least once a week and was told the same thing each time: there was nothing new showing on any of the tests, that they were being overly cautious based on Lyssa’s medical history, and that she was just recovering more slowly this time. 

*** ~~~ ***

Eight months after Lyssa had woken from her coma, she still hadn’t fully recovered her strength. Her doctor refused to sign off on letting her get back to work, as she hadn’t been able to do any type of training. 

Lyssa wasn’t sure what would happen next, but she knew that she was grounded from piloting a plane, she wasn’t allowed to carry any weapons, and she wouldn’t be going on any missions. 

Today, she spoke to the doctor alone, after he’d done more tests. Tony was there as well, causing her to get a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. He and the doctor talked to her for thirty minutes. 

“Is that all?” She asked, while glancing between the two of them. 

She quietly left the medical floor and got onto an elevator. 

*** ~~~ ***

Tony went up to the Avengers’ level once he’d spoken to the doctor a bit longer after Lyssa had left. He wasn’t happy about the decision that had been made, but there was no way around it. He also wasn’t looking forward to the fall out from the others once they found out. 

When he arrived, he didn’t see Lyssa and figured she might be in Loki’s suite. 

“Sir,” Jarvis got his attention. “Agent McAlister has left the tower.”

At almost the same instance, Loki came up the hallway from his suite, walking quickly. 

“Where is she headed?” Tony asked. 

“She’s not running, and she may be heading toward the diner that she frequented before her surgery.”

“You two, go get her.” Tony pointed at Bucky and Loki. 

*** ~~~ ***

Lyssa entered the diner and sat at her usual booth. A waitress took her order, and Lyssa turned sideways so that she could put her feet up on the seat. She leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes while she waited on her food. 

That’s how Loki and Bucky found her. They stood outside for a couple of minutes, watching before going inside. Loki touched her knee while Bucky sat across from her. Without a word, she dropped her feet to the floor and turned to sit properly in the booth. 

The waitress brought her food and a refill for her tea, then asked the men if they wanted something, which they declined. 

Lyssa reached for the maple syrup and drowned her waffles in it, then silently ate them and the chicken strips she’d ordered. She plucked the check out of Bucky’s fingers when the waitress put it on the table, then dug into her pocket and brought out a twenty dollar bill, handing both to the waitress. 

“Keep the change.”

Then she waited for Loki to get up and let her out. He studied her profile for several minutes before getting to his feet. Without a word to either of them, Lyssa walked out of the diner and headed back to the tower, with them following. 

When the elevator door opened, Tony was relieved to see that she’d been found so quickly. Lyssa didn’t even look at him as she stepped off the elevator then turned down the hallway. 

Bucky and Loki walked into the common room, where everyone else was gathered. 

“That went better than expected,” Tony said, uneasy under everyone’s accusing glares. “At least she didn’t slam…”

 **_Slam_ ** _._

“The…”

**_Slam!_ **

“Door.”

**_SLAM!! SLAM!! SLAM!!_ **

“What did you expect?” Bucky asked. “You’ve retired her, haven’t you?”

Loki drew a sharp breath, and his gaze hardened. Thor was equally shocked, and Tony grew more uneasy. 

“We all know that she hasn’t recovered as well as we’d hoped. If there had been any improvement _at all_ , we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” Tony told them. “The stress of training _alone_ could have caused a relapse, which I’m certain none of you want.”

Tony looked at each of his teammates. “She hasn’t been fired, but she is retired due to medical issues stemming from HYDRA’s attack on her and Loki. We simply can’t take the risk.”


	19. Chapter 19

The team was quiet as they absorbed Tony’s words. Then loud noises from the hallway caught their attention. 

“Will you please go make sure she’s not trying to tear the whole building down?” Tony asked Loki, dryly. “Better yet, why don’t you both go?”

Bucky followed as Loki turned to go down the hallway toward Lyssa’s room. The door was open, and there were SHIELD uniforms periodically flying out into the hall. Then there were boots. Next came utility belts. 

“You might want to stand clear,” Bucky told Loki. “There’s no telling what could be next.”

They stood there for a few minutes, until things stopped coming out of the room. Bucky carefully picked his way to the door, with Loki right behind him. Bucky peeked in to make sure nothing was ready to be launched, then they both went to the bedroom door. 

“Whatcha doing, doll?” He asked. 

Lyssa glared at him but said nothing. 

“You know, you paid for the boots. You could keep those.”

“The only thing I want to do with those boots is to…”

She got a speculative look on her face, then brushed by him with a pair that she hadn’t thrown yet. Bucky caught her around the waist. 

“You really don’t want to do that,” he said, softly. 

“Actually, I really do.” She tried to get free but he held onto her firmly. 

“No, you don’t,” Bucky murmured. 

Lyssa stopped fighting; when Bucky released her, she dropped the boots and turned back toward her closet. Jackets with the SHIELD emblems were then tossed on the bed. She unsheathed a knife in order to start cutting the patches off them. 

They didn’t come off easily from one coat, so she resorted to slicing holes in it, then just out of frustration, she began to cut the thing apart. As she did so, tears began to stream down her cheeks until she was sobbing. 

When Bucky made to approach her, Loki stopped him. 

“Let her.”

Bucky watched without a word. Lyssa finally finished slicing the jacket up, letting the pieces fall to the floor. Her hands fell into her lap while her shoulders heaved with the sobs that wracked her. 

Loki took the knife from her lax grip, sheathed it, then passed it to Bucky. He remembered all the weapons that she’d had hidden when the HYDRA agents had searched her; he knew that it was likely that she would at least have knives within easy reach. When he gave Bucky a meaningful glance, the soldier knew what he wanted and nodded slightly. 

“Come on, pet,” Loki spoke gently to her as he took her by the shoulders and urged her to her feet. “Let’s rest awhile, hmmm?”

“You’re never tired,” she rasped, hoarse from crying. “I know what you’re doing; you’ll never find them all.”

“Come with me.” Loki ignored her comment while forcing her to walk with him. 

He led her to his suite, then into the bedroom. Lyssa didn’t resist when he removed her shoes and jeans, and then had her lie down. When he also laid down and pulled her close to his side, she put her head on his shoulder.  

“What do I do now?” She whispered, her breath hitching. 

“There’s time to think about that later,” he replied. “You rest and get your strength back.”

“I love you,” she then said.

“I love you, too, my dear,” he replied, smiling softly when she pressed a kiss to the side of his neck. 

“What if he makes me leave here?”

“Oh, he wouldn’t dare try to do that,” Loki replied.  “He would likely have a mutiny on his hands if he did.”

*** ~~~ ***

“Is she ever going to speak to me again?” Tony asked Loki, after a briefing of the mission that needed their help. 

It had been three weeks since Lyssa had been retired. Since that day, she secluded herself in Loki’s suite and wouldn’t come out for anyone. If Tony tried to come in to talk to her, she wouldn’t open the door; if he made it inside, she locked herself in the bedroom. 

One day he managed to get into the bedroom, only to be faced with a locked bathroom door. Tony sat in the floor for two hours trying to get her to come out and talk; the conversation that day was decidedly one-sided.

When Tony tried to go through Jarvis to speak to her, she told the AI in no uncertain terms what Tony could do. Loki stifled a laugh on that day; Lyssa had been so extremely colorful and graphic that he was sure the computer system would malfunction. Loki was also certain the Jarvis had censored Lyssa’s reply.

Tony also was extremely generous with a financial settlement. Since she had been initially injured while on the job, he made sure that she would want for nothing and that any future medical expenses were covered. She had sent his check back to him, torn into tiny little pieces. So, he had put money into a bank account for her and she had promptly given every cent away. 

When Jarvis read out the list of where the money had gone, Tony was quite impressed that she’d managed to disperse such a large sum so quickly. 

The local animal shelter had been trying to buy a larger property to ease overcrowding, and the money from a private donor had helped to achieve that goal. 

A children’s hospital also received a private donation to repair a play area and to update some much needed medical equipment. 

Then a senior center was given enough money to add a small annex. There was also enough for equipment and other services that they needed. 

Tony then set up a different account for her, in Loki’s name. So far, Lyssa didn’t know about it, because Tony was quite sure she’d give it away, too. 

“Are you sure you want her to?” Loki asked, smiling at the memory of the message that Jarvis had been told to relay. 

“I think three weeks is a bit long to throw a temper tantrum,” Tony replied. “Although  _ you _ probably hold the record.”

Loki grinned at that because it was true and had resulted with Lyssa being assigned to him. Tony shook his head as he cleared a few coffee cups off the table. 

“Maybe she’ll be ready to talk to you when we get back,” Loki told him. 

“I hope so. I miss the little hellion.”

*** ~~~ ***

When Loki returned to his suite, Lyssa was on the sofa, reading. She smiled at him when he sat beside her. 

“He’s asked about you, again.”

She shrugged and tossed her book aside, then crawled into his lap. Loki held her close while rubbing the back of her neck. 

“Are you going on a mission?”

“Yes, we leave in a couple of hours.”

“Do you know how long you’ll be gone?”

“Not yet.”

Lyssa sighed and snuggled closer. Loki’s fingers then slid through her hair; it was still short and she’d had it trimmed into a pixie cut.  The white hair growing over the scar was now more noticeable. He liked it, but she wasn’t sold on it yet. 

“I miss you,” she said, running her hand along his arm. 

“I haven’t gone yet,” he chuckled. 

“Still….” she whispered. “Don’t get hurt.”

“I wouldn’t dare.”

*** ~~~ ***

The team was gone for several weeks, with Jarvis providing frequent updates. She busied herself with cleaning the kitchen and common area, and doing laundry after going through all the rooms and gathering up dirty towels. That kept her busy for a couple of days. 

At her request, Loki left her with a couple of shirts that he’d worn. She wanted to wear them and keep his scent close to her. 

When Jarvis told her that the team would be home within the hour, she retreated to Loki’s room to wait. He found her in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on the dinner she’d cooked. 

Loki paused before walking to her. She wore one of the shirts he’d left for her, and her legs and feet were bare. He came up behind her, then wrapped his arms around her. 

“Here’s my warrior,” she said, leaning back against him, her arms crossed over his. “Welcome home.”

“Do you know what it does to me when you wear my shirt?” He whispered, his lips against the side of her neck. 

“I have an idea,” she whispered back, arching her neck to give him access. 

“Good god, you two really need to get a room.”

Tony’s voice caused her to jump. She would have dashed for the bedroom, but Loki held onto her, and there was no way she could get free. 

“We  _ have _ a room!” She replied, caustically. Then to Loki: “One day your pants are gonna catch on fire, Liar.”

Loki couldn’t help but laugh at that; she was so incensed that she hadn’t yet realized that Tony was seeing her in only a shirt. 

“So, while you’re a captive audience, we need to talk,” Tony said. 

“You talk, then when you’re done, you can leave,” Lyssa replied, setting her chin mulishly. 

“You are a stubborn little thing, you know that?” Tony walked closer, then bopped the end of her nose. 

Lyssa’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Did you just  _ bop my nose _ ?”

“I did.”

“I’m not a child for you to — “

“Then stop acting like one,” Tony cut her off, firmly. 

Lyssa huffed in outrage and tried again to get free from Loki, who only needed to expend enough strength to keep her in place. She tried kicking him, stepping on his feet, and then went limp, trying to slip out of his arms by dropping to the floor. 

“I have food on the stove!” She told Loki, with a growl. “It’s gonna burn!”

Without a word, Loki marched her to a dining chair, and plopped her in it. When she tried to get up, she discovered that he’d bound her there with his seidr. 

She had no choice but to sit while Tony took a chair beside her. Loki busied himself with taking the food up. 

“You're looking well,” Tony commented, placing one elbow on the table. He then studied his hands as he gathered his thoughts. “You know why we had to retire you, right?”

Lyssa stared at him silently. He could see that she was still angry and hurt that she would no longer be allowed to do a job that she’d trained years for. It hadn’t been an easy decision by any stretch of the imagination. 

“You were already hurt once, although it ended up being a blessing in disguise. If HYDRA hadn’t kidnapped you and Loki, that tumor, even though it was benign, may not have been discovered until it was too late,” he went on. 

Lyssa listened to him while he explained his, the director’s and the doctor’s decision. He hadn’t liked having to do that to her, but there hadn’t been much choice. He didn’t want to risk a relapse, nor have her put others in danger if they were dependent on her in the field. 

“Do you understand now?” Tony finally asked. 

“I understand, but I don’t have to like it,” she grumbled. 

“I don’t like it either,” Tony replied. “Especially when it leaves more time for you and that one to think up more pranks.”

She couldn’t help but grin then, although she quickly squashed it with a cough. 

“Now, I noticed that you’ve left food in the other room, enough to feed everyone,” Tony said, tapping her knee lightly. “Why don’t you get dressed and join us at the big table?”

_ Dressed _ . Color flooded her cheeks when she just then realized that she wore only Loki’s shirt. 

“Alright.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still plugging away. Thanks for sticking with me!

After they’d eaten with the others, and after she had suitably greeted Bucky and Thor, Loki took her hand and led her to his suite. He was tired and wanted nothing more than his bed with Lyssa laying next to him. 

Once the door to his suite closed, Loki hooked an arm around her waist and pulled her rather roughly to him. His free hand went to the back of her head as he kissed her with several weeks’ worth of passion. Then he lifted her against him before taking her to the bed. 

Lyssa was a little surprised by his forcefulness, then even more surprised when he fell across the bed with her, but being careful not to crush her. His hands tore her shirt open, sending buttons flying, then their remaining clothes were shimmered away. 

“Is something wrong?” She asked quietly, noticing that his eyes were dark with emotion. 

“I have become accustomed to having you sleep next to me,” he breathed, while caressing her ribs, then thigh. “I haven’t slept well without you near. The others voiced their complaints of my temper, repeatedly, until I challenged them to send me home.”

Before Lyssa could reply, he had moved over her, thrusting hard into her while holding her hands against the mattress. He hadn’t ever been rough with her in bed, and she was a little uncertain until her body began responding to him, causing him to growl softly. 

“I have missed you,” he murmured, simply. “I don’t like this being away from you for so long.”

Lyssa felt the same way, but couldn’t voice her thoughts as she shuddered beneath him, reaching her pleasure quickly. Loki whispered softly in her ear while he continued to move against her until she climaxed again, with him not far behind. 

Loki pressed his forehead against hers until their breathing had returned to normal. When he let go of her hands, she immediately smoothed damp tendrils of hair away from his face. 

“Would you like to have one of my shirts to wear?” She asked, teasingly. 

“I already have something of yours to keep with me,” he replied, with a grin. 

“Oh? And what would that be?” 

Lyssa should have known that she wouldn’t like his answer to that when his grin turned positively wicked. 

“A pair of your underpants.”

“Say what now?” Her eyes widened in shock while her cheeks turned red. 

“Underpants, knickers, bloomers…..panties,” he said, lowering his voice to a whisper. “Was I not clear?”

“No, you do not!” She gasped, mortified. “Please tell me you don’t!”

Loki buried his face in the side of her neck while laughing softly. Lyssa smacked his shoulder with a fist. 

“You better not have told anyone about that!”

“It’s our secret,” he replied. “Well, ours and….Barton’s. They fell out of my sleeve as I was retrieving a dagger…”

Lyssa gave him a withering glare as he finished. His lips twitched in mirth but she was not amused. 

“Unless he wants to die, he’d better not say a word to _anyone_ ,” she hissed. 

“I’m sure you will make that perfectly clear to him,” Loki responded, laughing again. “I’d like to watch.”

“Scoundrel,” Lyssa grouched at him, raking her nails lightly along his arms. 

“Now, my dear,” Loki murmured as he closed his eyes briefly at the sensation, “I have yet to finish showing you how much I’ve missed you.”

Later, when Lyssa was asleep against his side, Loki stared at the ceiling, lost in thought. He was tired, but pleasantly so since the edge had been taken off his need for her. It felt so comfortable having her sleep next to him; it seemed like a lifetime since he’d even _wanted_ someone to sleep against him. He never would have imagined that a fierce little Midgardian would have captured his heart so easily. 

He had always found it near impossible to turn his mind off; he was perpetually thinking ahead, scheming, planning, and mapping out any possible endgame to events happening around him. As a result, his sleep was light and infrequent.

Except lately, he found himself living almost day to day, wanting each day to be spent with Lyssa. When she was resting against him, his sleep was more peaceful, and his mind less busy. 

When Lyssa nestled closer to him, his arms tightened around her, causing her to sigh sleepily. He dreaded the next mission that would take him away from her, as these last few weeks had been positively horrendous. He had been ready to stomp Barton into the ground more than once but resisted the urge. 

The man had been so annoying after Lyssa’s undergarment had fallen from his sleeve, and Loki had done his best to ignore him. If Barton made the mistake of teasing Lyssa or telling anyone else about the item, Loki knew the man would regret it, and he really did want to watch if he provoked her. 

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” She whispered while rubbing her leg against his before hooking her ankle around his knee. 

“Shhh,” he whispered back after kissing her forehead. “Sleep.”

“You, too.” Lyssa kissed the side of his neck before slipping back into peaceful slumber. 

Loki finally fell asleep as well, while still holding her tightly. 

*** ~~ ***

The next morning, she woke him with a sweet kiss, smiling when he pulled her on top of him and held her there. 

“Good morning,” she said, kissing him again. 

“That it is,” he replied, with a deep, contented sigh. 

“Breakfast?” She asked, while twisting a lock of his hair around her finger. 

“Not just yet.”

“Hmmm.” Lyssa continued to play with his hair. “I may have heard Clint in the other room.”

“On second thought….” he grinned. “Breakfast does sound good.”

He sat up carefully, keeping her against him until she straddled his lap. Lyssa ran her fingers through his hair, smoothing it back. They took the time to shower, then joined the others in the common room. 

Bucky and Clint were in the kitchen, with Clint helping Bucky start breakfast. Loki gave Lyssa a quick kiss before going across the room to stand by Thor. Lyssa stopped at the kitchen, where Bucky put her to work cutting cantaloupe and tomatoes. 

She concentrated on her task, ignoring Clint, who unobtrusively managed to move closer to her until he was able to stand beside her. Lyssa glanced up at Loki, who nudged Thor’s arm. 

“Watch this,” Loki said, for Thor’s ears only. 

Loki kept his expression passive when Clint gave him a sly look before putting his hand on the counter and leaning close to Lyssa. 

“Wanna hear a secret?” Clint asked, softly. 

“What?” She asked, keeping her hands busy with the cantaloupe. 

“Do you know what your boyfriend keeps tucked in his sleeve?”

Lyssa moved so quickly that he had little chance to react. The point of the knife she held was buried in the countertop, between the webbing of his fingers. He looked down, surprised. 

Lyssa then turned to face him, smiling amiably. She put her forehead against his before speaking. 

“Clint,” she murmured. “You seem to have forgotten something about me.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m still on the fence about whether I really like you,” she said. 

Clint jumped when he felt the tiniest prick of a knife at his side. 

“I could slip this knife between your ribs and be ten paces away before you realize that you’re dead.”

“I get your...point,” he replied. 

“So, what was it you wanted to tell me?” Lyssa kept her eyes locked with his. 

“It’s not really that important,” he said.  “You know, you’ve been hanging around that dude too long.”

“I’m the one who taught her about knives,” Bucky commented, without turning around. 

“She’s been around you too long, too.”

Lyssa moved away from Clint so that she could wash her hands. Bucky kissed her temple quickly when she bumped shoulders with him, while Clint took a quick look at his side. Loki smirked at him, and Thor just shook his head. 

When Tony and Natasha joined them, they knew that something had happened although no one wanted to share it. 

After they’d eaten and cleaned the kitchen, Tony gathered the team for a debriefing of the mission they’d just returned from. He gave Lyssa an apologetic glance as Loki walked to her. 

“It shouldn’t take too long,” he told her, stroking her cheek. 

“It’s alright,” she said, with a shrug. “I have some errands that I need to run anyway, and these meetings last longer than you think. I love you and will be back in a couple hours. Jarvis can call me if you have to leave suddenly.”

“I love you too, dear heart,” he replied, kissing her. 

*** ~~~ ***

When Lyssa returned several hours later, the team was still in the meeting. She went to Loki’s bedroom and laid down on the bed, after kicking her boots off.

That’s how Loki found her when he returned. She had an arm over her eyes and didn’t move when he laid down beside her. He propped up on his elbow and moved her arm, and she unsuccessfully tried to hide the tears on her cheeks. 

“It’s alright, Lyssa.”

She shook her head silently, resisting when he pulled her back against his chest and then curled around her. Once he had her where he wanted, he could feel that she was trembling with the effort not to cry. 

“What is there to miss about these trips anyway?” He asked. “You don’t sleep, you eat bad food if you even get to eat, and there’s always danger around the next corner.”

“But I could help to protect you all!”

“Yes, _before_. If you were to go on one now, everyone would be worried about you. And I know that you wouldn’t want to jeopardize anyone, not even Barton, if you were to collapse just when they needed you.”

“It doesn’t make it any easier.” She finally broke down into soft sobs. 

“I know. I _know_.” 

Loki held her until she fell asleep, her breath hitching in her chest. Then he stayed with her for a long time, until he also fell asleep.


End file.
